Woman who's been married 15 years admits she’s been cheating on her husband for 12 of them
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You might think being married for 15 years is quite the achievement, but one woman who's reached this milestone hasn't exactly followed the rules.
In a new podcast focusing on women who stray from their spouses, she has revealed that she's been cheating on her husband for 12 out of their 15 years together.
Though cheating is often associated with men, studies have shown that women are just as guilty - although what they consider to be an affair may differ.
Jo Piazza's She Wants More explores infidelity from a female perspective, featuring women of different ages and backgrounds telling the stories of their entanglements - many for the first time ever.
In the first episode, a wife, who goes by the alias Nikki, opened up about her 12-year-long journey straying from her husband - and it's been anything but straightforward.
Giving a bit of background on their relationship, she explained that 'on paper', she and her partner have appeared 'very happily married' for 15 years.
On the outside, Nikki has the perfect life - she's a mum, she has a successful career and a longtime husband.
"But inside of our marriage, although we do love each other, he is just kind of aloof, not super dialled in, would rather just not bring things up," she said.
Over the years, Nikki, who is in her late 30s, said their communication broke down and they stopped having sex or talking about it.
She felt forced to choose between getting her needs met and having no stability in her family life.
Eventually, she decided to Google cheating and that brought her to Ashley Madison - the famous website for spouses looking for discreet affairs.
Nikki created a profile to 'see what's out there', using a photo that didn't reveal her full face.
"It was like a torrential downpour of potential men begging to talk to me," she continued.
Though she found it scary and overwhelming after having been with the same person for years, she decided to dip her toe in this new world.
With hundreds of messages, she came up with a novel idea of organising the ones she wanted to respond to: she created a spreadsheet.
There were certain qualities she was looking for in a potential suitor, including consistency and communication.
When it came time to actually meet up with some of her dates, she created a Google Voice number and a secret WhatsApp so that no one would be able to find her conversations on her phone.
Nikki's first encounter saw her meeting a man at a hotel and she described it as the 'hottest sex' she's ever had in her life.
Reflecting on her initial experience, she said she didn't feel attached to her date at all, adding: "The more I thought about it, like why are men the only ones that get to call the shots?
"Why are they the ones who get to have all their sexual pleasures fulfilled?"
Since then, she's been busy with her affairs, and once even had sex with four different men on the same day.
"It was so cool because I got to really be in the driver’s seat, get exactly what I wanted - and I just happened to feel sexually greedy that day," she said.
"It's such a power trip being able to command the sexual presence of people you desire and have them fulfil whatever it is you need."
But in a twist of events, Nikki revealed that her cheating has ended with a full blown relationship, and she's now with a man who she's seeing exclusively on the side.
Although she's yet to break things off with her husband, she said she's open to it.
"It's not been the easiest road for this relationship," she explained. "I just don't know where it will go but I feel like I have a lot of control and experience under my belt.
"I'd be in a good position to make the right call when it comes."
If anything, Nikki's story shows that cheating is never a simple journey. And if/when her family finds out, there is going to be lasting damage.
Topics: Sex and Relationships