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Topics: Sex and Relationships
Claire Reid
Topics: Sex and Relationships
A relationship expert has revealed the 10 questions you should be able to answer about your partner in a healthy relationship. You can see what they are here:
Lauren Consul, 34, has shared a list of 10 things you know about your significant other - ranging from the smaller things - such as how they like their eggs cooked - to the bigger ones - like what their biggest stresses in life are.
Others questions include what was your other half’s dream career when they were a kid, how they hang the toilet paper, and what they’d order at a bar.
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The professional relationship therapist, from Los Angeles, California shared a video with the 10 questions and said many commenters struggled to answer the lot. And to be fair to them, I can’t answer some of these for myself, never mind my boyfriend.
Lauren said: "A lot of people were able to answer a lot, but then some responses were saying they didn’t even know this about themselves!
"Others said things like: 'we argue about small things', but I always say that it's not about the topic, it's about what's underneath the argument.
"The argument is actually about ‘Do you see me?', ‘Do I matter?’ The questions were inspiration from clients. A lot of couples will come in and have something small that they’re fighting about - little things that create big moments.
"Some couples come in and end up saying: ‘this is my roommate’
"We continue to stay connected to somebody if we understand them in a deeper way.
"If you're not paying attention to the smaller things as well, it’s like you’re not fully seeing your partner."
For anyone who does struggle to answer the questions, Lauren says it's important to cultivate an 'environment of curiosity' and 'never assume'.
"That’s a main tip for couples - asking questions and not assuming", she said.
"We are constantly evolving and answers change, don't assume you already know.
"They don’t have to be super deep questions; you can start simple. Ask them about their day and how they’re feeling
"It also doesn’t have to be about the relationship.
"For some couples it is high stakes to talk about their relationship so start conversations about other things like work, the media, TV and just life in general.
"The disconnect can happen overtime but try and make sure you continue to engage with questions and don't assume."
If you’re interested, here's the 10 questions - how many do you know about your partner?
1. Do you know how your partner likes their eggs cooked?
2. What would your partner consider to be a big purchase?
3. What was your partner's dream job in primary school?
4. If you were to arrive at a bar before your partner, what would they want you to order?
5. How frequently would your partner ideally want to be having sex?
6. What is something that they're very self-conscious about?
7. What direction do they like the toilet paper, over or under?
8. What is their biggest tell that they are stressed out?
9. How do they like you to flirt with them?
10. What is some of the biggest stresses in their life right now?