Relationship expert shares the 10 questions you should be able to answer about your partner
In the vast majority of relationships, there will undoubtedly be points where couples are forced to consider the difficult question of whether or not they're on the right track.
You may have just endured a bout of financial troubles, which has triggered countless arguments - or your trust has been broken in some way.
The two of you could have gotten lazy in the bedroom, and are worried things may never spice back up again. Or you're simply questioning whether or not you've found your soulmate in the first place?
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And the hardest part is, there is often no way of getting to the bottom of these questions - many of which can eat away at hesitant lovers for years.
However - according to a relationship expert Hayley Quinn, who spoke exclusively to Tyla this week - there are another batch of questions you could answer yourself, the answers to which allegedly indicates whether or not you've found the one.
And she adds that it could be cause for concern if you simply cannot answer them...
1) After more than a year of dating, how often would your partner like to see you?
Knowing where your other-half stands when it comes to boundaries is imperative, to know when you're needed and when to give them independence.
Giving the example answers of, "All the time, they can't stop talking about moving in", or "Their ideal relationship is probably separate houses, with a tunnel between them," Hayley says that knowing what they'd say if offered the opportunity to spend all their time with you is pretty important.
2) Does your partner prefer spontaneous or planned sex?
Being open with your partner about sex can be difficult, especially if you're of an introverted nature.
But any sex expert will tell you that's it's super beneficial to disclose your likes and dislikes in the bedroom to your partner.
Not only can it prevent unenjoyable sex, but it can strengthen the bond between the two of you.
Therefore, Hayley asks: "Does they love the caveman approach, or are showering, grooming and soft lighting a must?"
3) What are your partner's red lines for behaviour in a relationship?
Again, as we say, communication is key in a successful partnership.
So, knowing which often-heartbreaking and potentially traumatic experiences your partner has endured in the past is essential to make sure that you don't make the same mistake.
Giving an example, Hayley suggests: "'Raising my voice, because my partner had an angry parent which left their mark', or 'Quality time, they'll sulk if we don't do date night.'"
4) How does your partner show that they love you?
Not everyone shows their affection in the same way, and that is something which lovers need to be aware of, so they can manage their expectations.
As Hayley suggests, your partner might enjoy 'planning the best holiday itineraries' as a means of proving their love to you - while others might believe it best to help you with menial tasks, like 'taking the bins out'.
Both are respectable means of proving adoration, and you should probably know which one your partner would naturally go for.
5) What makes your partner feel loved?
In the same way that you should know how your partner likes to show their love, Hayley says you should also be aware of what makes them feel loved.
Do they prefer physical affection - a cuddle in bed at the end of a long day? Or is it based on acts of kindness - like unloading the dishwasher for you?
Again, knowing this can assist with managing expectations with one another.
6) How does your partner like to be supported when they're stressed out?
As any mental health professional will tell you, everybody acts different when confronted with a difficult situation.
Whilst some people prefer quiet time on their own to think things through, others require help from their loved ones to help them get through it.
Knowing which response your partner prefers is key, Hayley says.
"Do they like to be left alone to noodle it out? Or do they want to talk it over, without arriving at a conclusion?"
Either response is fine, but it's best to know so as not to push them away further.
7) How would your partner spend £1,000,000?
As we say, finances can be a tricky topic amongst lovers, but Hayley reckons a good indicator of how well you know your other-half is what you reckon they'd spend a million pounds on?
Would they sooner treat themselves to a Lamborghini, or take all their family away on holiday?
Again, there's no right or wrong answer, but it's probably wise to know where their mindset lies when it comes to money.
8) What relationship would your partner like you to have with their family?
Once again, this falls under being aware of your other-halves expectations when it comes to love.
In some cases, people endure difficult or toxic relations with their parents, and would prefer you to keep a safe distance, and in others, they 'light up' to see you getting along with their mum and dad.
Knowing where your partner stands with regard to their relationship with their parents, and what they want from you is imperative.
9) What's your partner's most important value?
This question follows on nicely from the previous. Being realistic in your knowledge of your partner's priorities is really important in the long run, specifically to avoid wasting one another's time.
Hayley tells us it's okay if their main drive is 'Gordon Gecko levels of ambition', as long as that aligns with your values, so you don't blame them later down the line for being too success-focused.
Similarly, if their priority is family, but you're not keen on kids, that will undoubtedly be a difficult discussion later down the line.
10) What's one thing your partner always wishes they had done?
It might sound strange, but being well in-tune with your partner's biggest regrets might be helpful for the future.
Hayley says knowing whether your partner wishes they'd started a company some years earlier - as they 'swear they had that idea first' - can be important, as it's possible they may revisit that dream later down the line.
Or if they wish they 'had more sexual experiences', being that you 'got together pretty young', this could give you a clue as to where their expectations in the bedroom could lead to...
The more you know, eh?
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Hacks
Rhianna Benson