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Mum, 59, says she never wants to have sex again

Emma Guinness

Published 
| Last updated 

Mum, 59, says she never wants to have sex again

Featured Image Credit: Instagram / femme50plus_

Sex is one of the most individual things in this world, and the amount you have and with whom really does vary from person to person.

Now, one mum of two adult sons has explained why she's decided that she never wants to get down and dirty again at the age of 59.

Monica Zwolsman wrote in an essay for Mamma Mia that she's 'SO done' with sex, but she is struggling to understand why some people, especially men, do not respect her decision.

Monica said her 'downstairs playroom' is closed. Credit: Monica Zwolsman
Monica said her 'downstairs playroom' is closed. Credit: Monica Zwolsman

She explained that, in her opinion, 'there can't be many 55-plus women who really want to have sex' but speculates that a lot of them have it anyway to keep their partners happy.

Monica believes that once a woman has procreated, there is no reason for her to continue having a sex drive.

"I shudder at the thought of being jabbed away at by some man," she admitted.

Curious about how women her age felt about sex, Monica decided to google it, and she was shocked to discover that a lot of websites suggested there was something 'wrong' with her.

"There was a lot of talk about atrophied vaginas and dry, thin walls, which made my own private parts clench in horror," she remembered.

The mum went on to admit that the last time she paid any attention to her vagina, it was on a cycling trip where the seat gave her blisters 'inside' her genitals.

Now, she is upset that society has her questioning whether or not she is any less of a woman because she has decided that she's done with sex.

Monica explained that there was a time in her life when she enjoyed sex and said that when she was 'deeply in love', 'sharing our bodies was a further way of bonding our minds.'

Monica said she enjoyed sex when she was 'deeply in love'. Credit: Monica Zwolsman
Monica said she enjoyed sex when she was 'deeply in love'. Credit: Monica Zwolsman

"The actual act was pleasant but not as good as lying together afterwards, cuddling and chatting into the night," she admitted.

She went on to reveal that she still enjoys physical touch, but 'hand holding and hugs are my present love language'.

After consulting google about the issue, Monica said she asked her friends about the subject and said that a lot of them said they didn't want to have sex anymore either.

"My 'no thank you' to sex resonated with many married women eager to hunt down and throttle scientists who thought Viagra was a good idea," she revealed.

While she said that she is glad to be single and not have to worry about potential pressure to have sex from a partner, she said her decision to not have it has removed 'possibilities of companionship and affection.'

Monica has given online dating a whirl and said sex doesn't seem to be the main priority of single men her age and claims they are looking for things like financial assistance instead.

She therefore doesn't really feel like she is missing out.

Monica said her decision not to have sex is costing her potential dating opportunities. Credit: Seven
Monica said her decision not to have sex is costing her potential dating opportunities. Credit: Seven

However, she insists she is happy for women her age who claim to enjoy sex, but admits she is doubtful that is what's really happening.

"I must take their word that they have not mistaken their desire for sex for their love of being loved," she wrote.

Monica said that while she would ultimately like a relationship, she gets the love she needs elsewhere and is planning to eventually live in a commune with her 'heart sisters'.

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Emma Guinness
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