Mum left furious with mother-in-law for changing son's dirty nappy
A Mum has reached out to other mothers to ask 'am I being unreasonable' after she was left seething by her own mother-in-law changing her newborn's nappy.
Labelling it an act of 'invading baby's privacy', she's controversially called her MIL 'overbearing' for trying to do it.
The new mum's belief is that only parents should change their child's nappies - but it seems others didn't agree.
Her AIBU post on Mumsnet in August 2022 said: "I'm very keen on consent and protecting my baby's privacy and prefer that only myself and my partner are the ones to change our son's nappy.
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"Obviously, I understand if we're not available due to nursery eventually or if someone else is babysitting, then I'm happy for someone else to do it. However, this has not yet been the case."
She then went into the specifics of the trigger for the post: "My baby started crying and rather than just give him back, [she] decided to take it upon herself to change him - I was standing right there.
"He continued crying throughout the change and she gave him back straight after but it annoyed me as it wasn’t her place to change him.
"I didn’t say anything at the time - I was trying to be nice and friendly but I'm starting to find her more overbearing and I’m getting close to drawing a line."
Other members, however, had a lot of feelings on the issue and the mum's take on it, with one urging her to take a 'long and hard look at herself'.
Another user claimed that the issue actually had nothing to do with privacy, saying: "So nursery workers or babysitters can change your child but their grandparent can’t?
"I suspect this is more about your feelings towards your mother-in-law than anything to do with privacy and consent.
"Consent is a ridiculous concept for a small baby who has no capacity to give informed consent at that age."
Another agreed that if she felt this way she should have taken bigger steps: "If you don’t trust grandparents to change baby’s nappy they shouldn’t be seeing baby. If you do, no issue. Babies don’t need consent no matter how keen you are on it."
One said she should feel grateful: "First of all, all my family members have offered to change nappies, and 9/10 it's because they're being helpful and just giving me a tiny break. It's a lovely thing for them to do."
But a few did understand. One mum sympathised: "I get that sometimes others are well-meaning with certain things but it can feel like an overstep to you.
"In my case, no-one's changed my baby yet besides me and my partner (and not offered either btw) and I like it that way for now, but it helps that mine is generally happy being changed and so I view it as another bonding experience."
Amelia Jones