Lindsay Clancy detailed how prescription medication ‘stole her’ before killing her three kids
Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide and child loss which some readers may find distressing.
A court heard how Lindsay Clancy wrote tragic notes about her mental health and wellbeing in the run-up to the deaths of her three children.
The former nurse, 35, is on trial for allegedly murdering Cora, five, Dawson, three, and Callan, eight months, after they were discovered strangled to death in the basement of their Massachusetts home in January 2023.
Clancy had been keeping detailed notes of the cocktail of medication she had been prescribed in the years leading up to the incident, and had been documenting her mental health struggles.
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Her defence team argues that she lacks criminal responsibility for the deaths of her children as they claim she was suffering from postpartum depression and psychosis at the time of the killings, and heard a 'male voice' telling her to take the children too before attempting to end her life.
'Sad and depressed' phone notes
The prosecution read out several of the notes found written in Clancy's phone, with one stating: "Medication stole my motherhood and my life.”
Tragically, that note was found to be amended for the final time the day before she tried to take her life and the children were then found dead.
It also read: "I was the healthiest, happiest mom, I worked out every morning, meditated, and took care of myself so I could be the best for my kids. Until prescription medication stole me from my own body. It began with a touch of post partum anxiety.”
Other notes on the phone detailed her struggle with anxiety and depression, and her fear about taking another new medication.
She also wrote that she was 'sad and depressed' and also expressed guilt, resentment and upset, feeling like she wasn't giving her newest baby, Callan, the same love and attention she gave her first two children.
Another note, written in November 2022, stated: “I feel not as connected with Cal now, I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby. And I know that’s not fair to them.”
“I want to feel happy, but it would be nice to feel authentically happy and not fake. But I need to feel happier than I did last evening because then I was pretty depressed and not enjoying any of my children. It was really sad.”
She also shared her regrets: “I guess I also feel slightly traumatized by the sleep training, but that feeling was only really present when I was severely sleep deprived and paranoid
"I know what we did was the right thing and okay.”
Despite this, she also wrote of her desire to have a fourth child, but acknowledged she would need to see a 'really good therapist' first.
Another note seemingly contained affirmations to attempt to lift her spirits: “I will get through this. I will overcome postpartum anxiety and depression. I am a great mom. I love my kids.”
'Going downhill'
Elsewhere in her notes, she recalled how she asked for help: “I had 3 young kids to take care of and was a touch anxious. So I did what you do…. asked a psychiatrist for some Zoloft."
The doctor increased her dose, which Clancy then said left her with insomnia, which meant she 'couldn’t sleep a wink'.
Her psychiatrist then allegedly advised her to stop taking Zoloft and recommended Ativan and Benadryl instead, to help her sleep, she wrote in the note.
“That’s when everything started going downhill," she recalled, saying she was soon 'dependent' on the medication to fall asleep.
According to CNN, one of Clancy's medical providers testified Clancy had reported she was awake for 48 hours straight.
The prosecution argues Clancy killed the children 'deliberately and meticulously' and insists she was not in the 'throes of psychosis'.
Emotional breakdown
The notes are the latest emotional moment for Clancy, after court proceedings had to break for a recess after she broke down in hysterical tears yesterday (August 13), as medical experts gave graphic testimony about the nature of the children's injuries from the autopsy.
Clancy was heard wailing "I can't do this," before Judge Sullivan ordered a break, and her defence attorney Kevin Reddington attempted to comfort her.
The trial continues.
Timeline of Lindsay Clancy case
May 2022
Lindsay gives birth to her third child, Callan.
She’s open about her postpartum struggles with her other two kids on social media. Six weeks after Callan’s birth, she posts that she’s feeling ‘dialed in’ while focusing on exercise, nutrition, and mindset, and ‘it has made all the difference’.
September 2022
As the end of her maternity leave nears, Lindsay, who works as a labour and delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital, starts to experience anxiety about returning to work.
She visits two different psychiatrists and receives a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder.
Lindsay is prescribed several different psychiatric medications.
October 2022
According to court docs, she writes in a note on her phone: “I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby. And I know that’s not fair to them. I know that. I was feeling so depressed last evening when Cora and Dawson came home from school, I know it runs off on them, so we had a pretty rough evening, I want to feel love and connection with all my kids.”
December 2022
Lindsay undergoes an evaluation at the Women and Infants Hospital Center for Women’s Behavioral Health. She is not diagnosed with postpartum depression, prosecutors say.
Lindsay’s husband Patrick tells police she is having suicidal thoughts and thoughts of harming their children, according to his testimony in court.
1-5 January, 2023
Lindsay admits herself to McLean Hospital for psychiatric treatment. She is discharged after five days as clinicians do not believe she poses an imminent danger to herself or others, prosecutors say.
22 January, 2023
Lindsay, Patrick, Cora and Dawson have dinner at family friend Kyle Carney’s home. Kyle later tells police that Lindsay ‘seemed fairly normal’.
23 January, 2023
According to prosecutors, Lindsay pens a note on her phone which says she has ‘a touch of postpartum anxiety’ about going back to work.
24 January, 2023
Prosecutors allege the following took place this day:
Morning: Lindsay takes Cora to a scheduled pediatrician appointment. After returning home, they play in the snow with Dawson. She sends photos of the kids to Patrick and her mom.
4:02pm: Lindsay searches for ‘kids Miralax’ (a laxative) on her phone, and 11 minutes later looks up ‘take out 3v’, referring to restaurant ThreeV in Plymouth. She uses Apple Maps to calculate how long it would take to drive from the family’s home to ThreeV.
4:47pm: Lindsay rings a CVS in Kingston to ask if they have any Miralax in stock. A manager tells her they don’t, but they do have similar medications.
The manager later tells authorities that she did not slur her words or sound impaired during the call.
4:35pm: Lindsay texts Patrick, who is working from home: “Any chance you want to do takeout from 3V … I didn’t cook anything … It’s been a long day.”
Patrick says yes, and Lindsay asks him to ‘check the menu when you can’.
5:10pm: Lindsay calls ThreeV to place the order.
5:15pm: Lindsay allegedly texts Patrick: “Pedialax liquid stool softener.” He then leaves to pick up the medication.
5:33pm: When Patrick arrives at CVS, he rings Lindsay, but she doesn’t pick up. She rings back one minute later and confirms the medication.
5:54pm: Patrick gets to ThreeV, pays for the food and leaves.
6:09pm: Patrick returns home. “The first thing he noticed was the silence,” prosecutors say. “He did not see or hear the defendant or the children.”
Patrick calls for his wife but gets no response. He discovers their second-floor bedroom is locked. Patrick eventually manages to get in the room but sees blood on the floor. He runs outside and finds Lindsay lying on the ground, according to prosecutors.
6:11pm: Prosecutors say that Patrick rings 911 and Lindsay is saying: “I tried to kill myself.”
He is then said to ask Lindsay: “Where are the kids?” She responds: “In the basement.”
While on the call, Patrick goes down to the basement and is heard ‘screaming in agony’,
Cora and Callan are discovered on the floor of the den. Dawson is found in his dad’s home office.
When officers arrive at the scene, Patrick alleges: “She killed the kids.”
Lindsay is taken to hospital, where she is treated for injuries that leave her paralysed below the waist. The three children are also rushed to hospital.
7:28pm: Cora and Dawson are pronounced dead. Callan is medically flown to another children’s hospital.
25 January, 2023
Police issue Lindsay an arrest warrant, charging her with two counts of murder, three counts of strangulation or suffocation, and three counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
27 January, 2023
Callan is pronounced dead at 11.18am.
According to Assistant District Attorney Jennifer Sprague, Lindsay later wakes up and uses a whiteboard to ask: “Do I need an attorney?”
6 February, 2023
While in the presence of a psychologist hired by her lawyer, Lindsay calls Patrick and tells him she had a ‘moment of psychosis’ and heard ‘a man’s voice telling her to kill the kids and kill herself’ after he left on January 24.
7 February, 2023
On the day of her arraignment, Lindsay’s attorney says that she’s still suicidal. She pleads not guilty to three counts of murder.
October 2024
Patrick asks the public to forgive Lindsay, telling The New Yorker: “I wasn’t married to a monster - I was married to someone who got sick.”
January 2026
Lindsay and Patrick file a civil lawsuit, accusing medical providers of not properly diagnosing, treating and monitoring her for a ‘severe postpartum psychiatric condition’.
9 July, 2026
The Plymouth County District Attorney's Office says the three counts of strangulation would be subsumed into the murder charges.
27 July, 2026
Lindsay’s murder trial begins.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123 or contact Harmless by visiting their website https://harmless.org.uk.
Topics: Crime, True Crime, US News, Mental Health
Jen Thomas