Claire Reid
Being asked to be a bridesmaid should make you want to jump for joy - knowing that you’ll be there on your friend's big day to offer them support - but what happens if the question doesn’t fill you with happiness and excitement?
Well, that’s exactly what happened to Megan* when she was asked by her friend Eve* and almost immediately had doubts about it.
Megan explained: “We had been really close - a group of us - at university but after graduating I moved to New Zealand for a few years and we had definitely grown apart.
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“We hadn’t really made a huge effort to stay in touch and to stay friends, it was mostly just through the group chat.
“I sort of felt as though she had only asked me out of politeness.”
Feeling unsure, Megan approached the other women who had been asked to be bridesmaid with her concerns.
“It was lovely to be asked and I was touched, but I just didn’t want to do it,” she added.
“I wanted to support her - of course - but I just felt I wasn’t as close to her as the other woman she asked.
“I mentioned my doubts to the others and they all agreed that I shouldn’t do it if I didn’t feel right about it.”
After talking through her concerns with her pals, Megan reached out to Eve to tell her that, while she was honoured to be asked, she didn’t think she was the right woman for the job.
Recalling the conversation, Megan said: “It was scary, but I was just totally honest about everything and that did make it easier.
“I told her that I loved her and that I didn’t want to lose the friendship - but that it was putting pressure on me and I didn’t want to end up feeling resentment.”
Fortunately for Megan, Eve took her decision well.
“She was actually fine - I mean, she was a bit disappointed but she was fine, which was a massive relief,” she said.
Despite turning down the role of bridesmaid, Megan still attended the wedding and was on hand to offer support to both the bride and bridesmaids on the big day.
“On the day I was still there for moral support and because my role was informal I was able to help out the bridesmaid and make sure they were all in order,” she said.
And not only that, but since then Megan and Eve have grown close and have even managed to laugh about the situation.
“We’re actually really close again now,” she went on.
“We made a joke of the situation quite quickly, which I think stopped things being awkward.
“I honestly have absolutely no regrets about it.”
Megan also has some advice for anyone who might be feeling the same.
“For anyone who is in the same situation, I’d tell them that if you’re having these doubts then the bride probably is, too,” she said.
“Accept that the first conversation - and broaching the subject - will be awkward, but just be completely honest and explain what you’re feeling.”
* Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals.