A woman who waited over four decades to have sex for the very first time found out she was unable to on the night of her wedding.
Sarah Jones-Green, 44, was brought up in a Christian household and wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, noting that she saw physical intimacy as 'something special' and didn't want to lose her virginity to a one-night stand or casual fling.
While describing herself as a 'modern woman', who doesn't judge others for anything they choose to do, Sarah, a marketer, from Greenwich, London, explained that she couldn't see herself losing her virginity to a man she wasn't married to.
"I find it something so special," she said. "I didn't want to give myself to just anyone - someone I could eventually break up with or in a one-night stand."
Advert
Then, in 2020, at the age of 40, she met her now-husband, Martin Green, 44, on dating app Bumble, and the pair tied the knot some four years later in September of last year.
The pair spoke about sex before their first date, with Sarah explaining that she wanted to be transparent with him and didn't intend on having sex with anyone until marriage.
Sarah said that Martin was 'patient and kind' and was fine with waiting. They dated for four years before their nuptials.
Advert
"I waited four years to have sex with him," Sarah said.
"Martin has been so caring the entire time - we had the discussion while we were still talking on Bumble and he was so sweet and fine with it."
The couple first attempted sex on their wedding night and Sarah says she knew immediately it wasn't going to work after feeling an 'aching' sensation which, understandably, meant that the excitement quickly disappeared.
Advert
Sarah became upset and felt 'abnormal' and she wanted to get it sorted as quickly as possible so made an appointment with her GP later in the week.
"I wanted to get it seen to straight away," she said. "We just couldn't work out how to have sex without pain - Martin was fine, but I was really frustrated.
"I remembered my mum had the same issue on her wedding night, and wondered if her problem was hereditary."
Her GP later performed a physical examination and found Sarah has a condition called a microperforate hymen - a condition where the hymen is very thick but has a single, small opening.
Advert
Sarah is now on the waiting list for a hymenectomy - a surgical procedure to remove extra tissue from the hymen - and says being able to have sex would make her feel 'complete'.
She added: "I'm a virgin bride - and I don't want to be - having sex would make me feel like a 'normal' newlywed.
"I didn't have any inkling about this condition before, I literally only realised something was wrong when Martin and I tried to have sex for the first time.
Advert
"I'd waited such a long time - I just wanted to experience what everyone else has.
"It's frustrating, and I've been feeling really down about it."
Opening up about her condition, she explained: "My hymen is unusually rigid, and people are born with it.
"The GP offered me dilators - but they sounded too painful, so I'm going for surgery.
"I haven't got my consultation until August - but a private procedure is looking to cost around £1,000.
"I'm really worried - I want to start a family as soon as possible. But I can't, without the surgery."
Topics: Health, Real Life, Sex and Relationships, True Life, Wedding, Women's Health, Dating
Rhiannon Ingle