Picture the scene...
A wealthy British aristocrat is desperately seeking a much younger suitor who he hopes will provide him with a legitimate heir, upon whom he'll bestow his grand estate and million pound fortune.
But this isn't Tudor England, and we're not talking about Henry VIII. This is 21st century Somerset, where 79-year-old Sir Benjamin Slade - a retired socialite and the 7th Baronet - is on the hunt for a both a beau and a baby.
For those unfamiliar with the gent in question, he was born in 1945 into the highly-affluent Slade family that have resided in the the Nether Stowey area of the UK for centuries. He now lives in Maunsel House in Bridgwater.
Advert
The self-publicist has been married once before, to fellow blue blood Pauline Carol Myburgh. They separated in 1989 after 12 years together, however, with Slade claiming his ex's 17 cats impeded on their marriage.
Throughout the 90s, he was linked to both noblewoman Fiona Aitken, and actress Kirsten Hughes until she 'ran off with the Maunsel House handyman'.
Slade later got into a relationship with his partner domestic worker Bridget Convey, but in 2017, when the latter turned 50, he left her over the fact she could never supply him with an heir.
Advert
"I've got lots lots of lovely girls that would love to marry at 70 but they are getting older," he told Somerset County Gazette last year. "Last a few years and then you die and then they might die and that is a risk.
"I meet people socially and I have a very social life and I am introduced to people of my own."
Apparently, however, Slade doesn't want just any yummy mummy to provide him with a child.
In fact, he has a very specific list of requirements that he began contriving following his 2017 split, that he says are needed by potential suitors for them to even be considered for the honour of birthing his brood.
Advert
By Slade's own admission, the lucky woman chosen needs to be at least 20 years his junior for 'tax reasons'.
"Death tax is 40 per cent and the only way I can pass the estate and art collection etc on is to leave it to the wife tax free who then disposes it to my distant relatives," he explained. "Obviously she has to live for seven years.
"She would also have to be insured, that's why we need a lady at least 20 years younger than me as I cannot insure an older wife so the younger the better. Obviously the widow would receive a financial percentage for passing it on.
Advert
"This the only way left to get around inheritance tax."
On top of this, he revealed Scorpios have been scratched from the list due to his superstitious nature, that a driving licence is mandatory, and a helicopter licence, preferable. The chosen woman must also be totally free from any drug or alcohol use.
Ideally, she'd also hail from a high-profile family that comes with its own coat of arms.
Advert
They can't hail from countries beginning with an 'I' or with green in the flag - with the exception of those from Italy or North India - and can't be Scottish, lesbians or communists.
"I don't mind Canadians, Americans, Germans and Northern Europeans - what I like to call similar people," Slade went on to add. "I don't think marrying an Eskimo is for me."
He would also like for the mother of his heir to be a good ballroom dancer, who also has the ability to accurately fire a shotgun.
She mustn't read The Guardian, or bear a height of anything over 5ft 5, but be physically fit, and enjoy walks and swimming.
It would also help if she played bridge and backgammon, and liked doing crosswords.
"What I just need is a nice is a nice, ordinary country girl who knows and understands things," Slade continued. "I am very social I go out a lot and I have to have somebody who fits in."
Aware of his exceedingly-high expectations, however, Slade has kindly promised the woman that steals his heart annual payments of £50,000 a year, to go towards the running of his 1,300-acre Somerset estate.
The role would also come with a bonuses, as well as a car, house, expenses, food and holidays.
Arguably the most interesting aspect of his appeal, however, is that Slade already has a child, having welcomed a daughter, Violet, with American poet Sahara Sunday Spain.
Despite previously acknowledging her existence, Slade has never met his daughter.
Instead, he seeks a male heir with genes that bear a resemblance to that of his ancestors, believing this will assist in tempting his offspring to continue working on his estate, which he'll leave in their trust.
Topics: UK News, Sex and Relationships, Life, Real Life, True Life
Rhianna Benson