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Topics: Sex and Relationships, UK News
Ben Williams
Penis nicknames are apparently far more common than plenty of people might have expected, with new research suggesting a huge number of British men have their own alternative name for their manhood.
While such a topic may sound like a throwaway joke at first, the figures behind it are surprisingly high. According to research by The Urology Foundation, reported by Metro, 80 percent of British men have given their penis a nickname, which works out at around 26 million across the UK.
The habit was most common among men in the North West, where 86 percent said they had one, while the figures were lower in Scotland and Northern Ireland at 73 percent, and Wales at 72 percent.
So while penis nicknames might seem like the sort of thing kept to private jokes and group chats, they are clearly much more mainstream than many would think.
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As for the actual names men are choosing, some are more traditional than others. John Thomas was revealed as the most common nickname, while Mopey Dick also ranked highly.
Elsewhere, some of the more unusual contenders included Sur Cumference and Widgey McWidge Face, showing there is clearly no universal approach when it comes to naming a manhood.
Other men seemed to favour titles that sounded a little more commanding, with names like The General, The Captain, The Boss, The Prince, and The Champ all featuring.
Then there were the nicknames designed to sound a bit more dramatic, such as The Rocket, The Wand, Rodzilla, Big Ben, and Little Man.
Psychotherapist Lucy Beresford explained there may be a reason so many men turn to humour or exaggerated language when talking about their penis.
She said: “The first is that genitalia are, on some level, still taboo, and people often don’t feel comfortable using the clinical terms like penis or something like cock. There is this disconnect between our capacity to want sex and our capacity to talk about sex.”
She also added: ‘If you give your penis a jokey name, you’re trying to sort of minimise the sense of potency that this part of your body can achieve,’
And according to Beresford, the more grand-sounding nicknames may say something slightly different.
She explained: “Whereas if you gave it a really powerful name like Rocket, Big Ben, The Terminator, or something like that, you’re really speaking to the potency that you feel about yourself and about your prowess in bed and about your capacity to give pleasure to your partner. It’s quite egocentric, really.”
Still, she made clear that in most cases, it is not necessarily anything too serious, saying: “But on the whole, if you’re in a loving, consenting sexual relationship and the two of you are playing around with those sorts of names, that can be just a great sign of affection and it can deepen the relationship.”