Woman shocked after mother-in-law told her to smack toddler daughter back when she hits her

A woman claims that her mother-in-law says she should smack her toddler back when she hits her.

The mum in question took to Reddit to explain that her in-law offered her some parenting advice when it comes to toddler fights.

Of course, children in the age range of two-to-three often misbehave, even to the point where they are lashing out when not getting their own way.

This mum claims she was told that 'spanking would be a better solution' by her mother-in-law, rather than her preferred approach of telling her child that hitting is wrong and walking away from the situation.

On Reddit, she wrote: "My daughter will be two years old soon. She's a sweetheart and very smart in many ways, she's talking in short sentences and is very communicative.

"But when she manages to communicate what she wants and she still cannot get it (e.g. ice cream for dinner/to play with scissors etc.) she can get pretty aggressive."

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She continued: "I know she's little and that she's still learning to cope with emotions, so I try to be patient and always explain everything, ('you can't play with scissors, because scissors can poke and cut you'). I then try to redirect her to some other activity, sometimes it works sometimes not.

"When she starts throwing a tantrum, I remove myself a bit, go sit a few feet away and tell her 'I'm here when you want a hug.' And it usually takes about 10-20 seconds before she comes running to give me a hug, calms down and we can move on.

"[But] sometimes she goes and hits me as the first reaction to a 'no'. She tries to slap where she can reach, if I'm crouched down, she'll slap my face."

The mum then went on to discuss the solution brought to her by her mother-in-law and her own mum, who both say that her current method is 'emotionally damaging' her child.

However, she thinks that showcasing violence will show her young child that hitting is acceptable when in fact it is very wrong.

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Instead, the mum has a different approach: "I get visibly sad (no overacting or fake crying) to show her behaviour makes me sad. I say 'Mummy is sad because you hit her. I don't want to play with you right now.'

"And I leave the room, just to stand right next to the door in the other room. My daughter usually comes running to me and crying, she gives me a hug and we have a little two-sentence exchange about 'hitting is bad'. I don't drag it out."

And many Reddit users have flocked to the comment section of the post to give their thoughts.

"It would be confusing to teach her not to hit... by hitting her," one person wrote.

A second added: "Spanking is never a good solution. The brains of children who are spanked react in the same way as children who are physically abused."

And a third remarked: "What you're doing is perfect. Hitting her to teach her not to hit is indeed a stupid idea."

Topics: Parenting, Reddit

Callum Jones