'FAFO' parents issued warning by expert after they reveal 'distressing' consequences

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'FAFO' parents issued warning by expert after they reveal 'distressing' consequences

Mental health expert Lianne Terry warned that there are some great pros, but dangerous cons to the parenting practice

A mental health expert has issued a stern warning to people that practice 'FAFO' parenting, after a horde of mums and dads admitted to jumping onto the controversial bandwagon at home.

In recent years, a plethora of new strategies and buzzwords for rearing children have seemingly emerged out of the blue - all of which have had their chance to be criticised under the watchful eye of experts.

'Gentle parenting' came under fire for apparently encouraging spoiled natures in youngsters, while 'tiger parenting' was accused of putting too much pressure onto the next generation.

And most recently, 'FAFO' parenting has been added to the roster as parents open up about the method on social media. But what actually is it and what do the experts say about it?

The parenting style has triggered a debate online (Getty Stock Image)
The parenting style has triggered a debate online (Getty Stock Image)

What is 'FAFO' parenting?

For those unfamiliar with the term, 'FAFO' is an acronym for the phrase 'f**k around, and find out' and is usually used as a warning about the potential consequences of a decision.

Basically, keep messing around and see what happens next.

Language gurus aren't totally sure where the terminology came about, but in 2022, the phrase soared in popularity after being used by tech boss Elon Musk against controversial rapper Kayne West.

At the time, the musician sparked outrage by posting an image of a swastika within the Star of David on Twitter, alongside an unflattering photo of the app's CEO himself.

Hours later, Musk had him removed from the social media site, announcing West's removal by simply tweeting 'FAFO'.

Who is practicing 'FAFO' parenting?

In recent years, FAFO has been implemented in the realm of parenting, with mothers and fathers all over the world admitting to using the approach on their own children.

One TikTok user, @hey.im.janelle, recently admitted in a video to being an authoritative parent whose children 'get their natural consequences and get to figure out the way through them'.

Janelle's youngster was reportedly splashing in the rain without his coat on (Getty Stock Image)
Janelle's youngster was reportedly splashing in the rain without his coat on (Getty Stock Image)

Adding that she practices 'FAFO' parenting in everyday life, the user went on to give her followers an example, revealing that she'd recently taken her young son camping with the Cub Scouts.

Janelle explained: "At one point it was raining pretty hard, it was raining all day ... and the kids were all just playing around at the campsite and my son decided he didn’t want to wear his rain jacket anymore."

She claimed to have responded to her child: 'Okay, that’s up to you.'

"I’m not fighting my kid on a jacket unless temperatures are such that it could be dangerous to be without it," she went on.

Naturally, the approach has sparked a huge debate online, with a number of viewers agreeing with her parenting practices.

"I love this," one fan confessed. "This is what we do. My kids are confident and polite and thinkers! You’re doing great!!"

Others, however, were left furious with the idea, with one hitting out in the comments: "Makes ur kid feel like u don’t actually care about them or what happens to them. My mom did that."

The approach has garnered some criticism (Getty Stock Image)
The approach has garnered some criticism (Getty Stock Image)

What do experts think about 'FAFO' parenting?

By the sounds of things, one councillor is stuck in the middle when it comes to FAFO parenting.

"Personally, I think this is a great approach, but ultimately every child is different and so a tailored approach is vital," Lianne Terry told HuffPost UK this week, going on to list the potential benefits.

As well as mentioning the independence 'FAFO' parenting instills in children, she praised the problem-solving skills it also affords them.

Terry also gave a shout out to the accountability that the approach teaches youngsters, and the resilience it helps them to build.

However, the rigidness of the practice can also be its downfall, with emotional distress potentially being inflicted on children who receive the impression that their parent doesn't care about them.

The approach also has the potential to land kids in unsafe situations if left to their own devices.

"Parents should set clear expectations and explain why certain behaviours have consequences - building understanding, rather than fear or resentment," the mental health expert continued.

The approach reportedly gives children more independence (Getty Stock Image)
The approach reportedly gives children more independence (Getty Stock Image)

Terry went on to emphasise that, if a child feels as though they don't have this type of support, they could feel abandoned - a feeling which itself can 'damage trust and attachment'.

"Children need to feel loved and supported, even when they make mistakes," she added.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image

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