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People Are Now Buying Ceramic Dildos And They Make The Perfect Secret Santa Gift

People Are Now Buying Ceramic Dildos And They Make The Perfect Secret Santa Gift

Ah, that awkward moment on Christmas Day, when you unwrap a gift that - for whatever reason - totally throws you, and you have to hold it together with your best festive poker face.

It might be a meat-based cookery book that fails to accommodate your new veggie lifestyle, or a Ouija board from kooky Aunt Lynn.

Or, er, a ceramic dildo.

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Yes, hand-painted pottery dildos are a thing - and one Brighton-based creator has found them to be so popular, she's sold out of them before Christmas.

The ornate sex toys, created by artist Vanessa Chalmers and developed with boutique owner, Nic Ramsey, are sold by Brighton erotic boutique, She Said.

Despite their price tag of £89.99 and breakable bodywork, the items have proved to be a Christmas hit (Credit: Caters)
Despite their price tag of £89.99 and breakable bodywork, the items have proved to be a Christmas hit (Credit: Caters)

Did we mention the range, dubbed 'Dearest Fanny' is adorned with hand-painted pictures of cats, flowers and pin-up girls?

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Despite their price tag of £89.99 and breakable bodywork, the items have proved to be a Christmas hit. The designs are inspired by Victorian-era sex toys, which were made from natural materials.

Vanessa and Nic have been working around the clock processing orders as the novel dildos fly off the shelves, and the boutique has never been so busy.

The pair had the idea to create an imaginative alternative to standard sex toys, and refined the concept at an artists' open house event.

For the first stage of the design process a 'ceramic sausage' is made using the clay wheel (Credit: Caters)
For the first stage of the design process a 'ceramic sausage' is made using the clay wheel (Credit: Caters)

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Each dildo has its own unique design - and can even been disguised as a fancy bracelet holder.

Explaining the thinking behind the product, Nic, based in Brighton, said: "I approached Vanessa at the beginning of this year with the idea.

"With a ceramic dildo, we can make it much prettier, more ornate that others.

"We take great care in making sure we have a variety in length, girth and of course vintage designs."

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Each dildo has its own unique design and can even been disguised as a fancy bracelet holder (Credit: Caters)
Each dildo has its own unique design and can even been disguised as a fancy bracelet holder (Credit: Caters)

Vanessa, who lives in Dorset, described how the dildos are made from clay using a spinning wheel.

"It's quite simple, you just make a ceramic sausage coming up from the wheel - we've just got to make sure we get the length and the girth.

"Of course, it's not just making the sausage - after we have to ensure it can't chip or break by using strong paint, and we put ornate designs on them - everything from cats to flowers to pin-up girls.

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The ornate hand-painted designs are created and sold by Brighton erotic boutique, She Said (Credit: Caters)
The ornate hand-painted designs are created and sold by Brighton erotic boutique, She Said (Credit: Caters)

"It's clear to see - Dearest Fanny is a best seller. But I've never seen anything like it and I can't believe how popular it's got."

*Stares suspiciously at phallic-shaped present under the tree.

Featured Image Credit: Caters

Topics: Christmas, Life News

Mary-Jane Wiltsher

Mary-Jane Wiltsher is a freelance lifestyle and culture journalist. Elsewhere she writes for Stylist, Euronews, PHOENIX and What We Seee.