Mum says grandparents have to ask for consent before hugging toddler daughter
A mum has shared the very important reason why her one-year-old daughter's grandparents have to ask permission before going in for a hug. Watch her explain below:
Many of us will have had grandparents who were always asking for hugs or pecks on the cheek when we were kids.
Usually we’d grin and bear it, but Australian mum Brittany Baxter (@brittanybaxter_x) took to TikTok last year to explain why grandparents shouldn’t feel entitled to hugs and kisses from little ones.
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She shared that ‘something has really been bothering [her] lately’, going on to explain that her toddler’s grandparents needed to ‘do better’.
Brittany explained she had been teaching her daughter consent ‘basically since the day she’s been born’, but her attempts to teach her one-year-old bodily autonomy had been hampered by relatives going in for hugs without asking.
She explained: “Can we please start normalising the fact that kids do not have to kiss and hug adults?
“My daughter is almost two years old and I’ve been in the process of teaching her consent basically since the day she’s been born and I find it really f**king unhelpful when the adults in her life are like, ‘What, we have to ask for a kiss or a hug?’ even though I’ve explained why multiple times.
“My daughter and her body do not exist to make anyone feel more comfortable or anyone feel more loved.
“No one’s feelings are ever going to be more important than my daughter’s right to her own body. And I’m sure as s**t not going to allow her to grow up in an environment where: 1. She doesn’t know how to say no and 2. She doesn’t know what it looks like for her no to be respected.”
Despite the importance of Brittany teaching her daughter consent from a young age, she ended up turning off comments on her post and explaining in follow-up videos it had been met with a mostly negative reaction.
She took the time to respond to some of those in the comments calling out her parenting style.
One commenter wrote: “I encourage my 21-month[-old’s] bond with my parents and she is so connected to them, I really don’t get your anger.”
Brittany responded: “Have you actually asked your child if that’s what they want and that’s what they need? Or are you encouraging and fostering that relationship because it meets your needs?”
Another commenter said: “I love this in theory but I’m curious how you deal with situations involving hygiene and health.”
Brittany replied: “My daughter is turning two - I know she cannot wash her body without my help or my husband’s help.
“So when it comes to that time, I state the boundary, ‘Hey Bubby, it’s time to get clean now, we need to wash your body.’
“I explain why, ‘We need to wash our bodies because that how we take care of our bodies, that’s going to keep our bodies healthy, etc. etc.”
Topics: TikTok, Parenting, Sex Education
Simon Fearn