Jess Hardiman
A bride has gone viral for all the wrong reasons, having sparked a huge debate online after slamming her bridesmaid for refusing to bleach her hair.
All too often the pressures of having a perfect day can turn the most level-headed of people into bride-zillas.
In reality, you’re better off accepting there are simply some things you can’t control, leaving more mental capacity to... just enjoy yourself?
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One woman recently took to Reddit to share her experience with a particularly demanding bride – who had asked her to bleach her hair.
Writing on the site’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ subreddit, she explained: “I (25 F) am meant to be in the bridal party of my friend Zoe’s (26 F) wedding in December 2024.
“A couple days ago, she met with me and the rest of the bridal party to discuss what the plan was for hair, makeup, dresses, etc.
“At first it seemed reasonable. She’s going for a winter wonderland type of theme, so blue dresses (all in different shades, lined up as a gradient) with silvery accents, snowflake jewelry and soft makeup, even blue contacts for those of us without blue eyes.
“Last one’s a bit weird, but it’s no big deal to me, I’ve worn color contacts for Halloween.”
She continued: “The bit that ended up being an issue for me is that Zoe requested we all get our hair dyed.
“A couple members of the bridal group are natural blondes (with dyed ends), and so is Zoe (but she wants to go platinum for the wedding), but the rest of us are two brunettes, a strawberry blonde (she wasn’t ‘blond enough’?), and a redhead.
“I’m one of the brunettes and I’m the only one in the group who has never dyed or bleached their hair.
“I’ve considered it, but I can never stay settled on what I want to do, and I’d hate to spend money on something that I end up hating.
“On top of that, my mom spent from ages 5-13 flat ironing my hair almost every single day. It really damaged my hair. I’m almost certain it’s resulted in my hair being thinner than it used to be.
“I know bleaching can also damage your hair, and I don’t feel comfortable taking that risk yet.”
The Reddit user said they told the bride she wouldn’t be able to dye her hair, but ‘she insisted it would be fine’, as her hair seemed healthy enough, also adding that she would be paying for the bleaching treatments for each of the bridesmaids.
“I again said no, thanks so much, but I can’t,” she went on.
“I asked if I could just wear a wig and she said no, that wigs are cheap and unnatural, and she wants us to have our real hair bleached instead of some cheap imitation for the day.
“After more back and forth, she told me I should go home and think about the fact that I’m ruining her vision and that I’d be ruining the photos and wedding video that she and her fiancé (30 M) will be putting together for his grandparents (84 M & 82 F) to view, since they won’t be able to fly in from Argentina.”
The woman ‘apologized’ and left, and has since been trying to weigh up the conflicting thoughts of not wanting to dye her hair and not wanting to ‘ruin Zoe’s picture perfect day’.
“I don’t think I’m being difficult or wrong here, but am I?” she asked.
The overwhelming consensus was the that woman was ‘not the a**hole’, with one person commenting: “I would’ve backed out on the demand to wear contacts. Trying to force others to bleach hair for a wedding? Absurd. Just back out now, it’s not worth being part of this crazy Elsa themed wedding. She’s only going to get worse. Run.”
Someone else said: “There’s having a theme and then there’s expecting people to chemically alter their appearance.
I think the real theme of her wedding is CRAZYTOWN.”
A third wrote: “Funny thing is if she gets her ‘vision’ it’s very likely in just a few years she’ll look back at her wedding pictures and cringe.”
In an update, the Reddit user said she was going to try and meet up with the bride to see if they could ‘find a compromise that doesn’t involve bleach’.