Featured Image Credit: TLC
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TV And Film, Reality TV,
Gregory Robinson
Reality television has given us some truly outlandish concepts over the years. The whole point of this often wacky genre is to give us an inside look into the everyday lives of people we don’t typically see in the media, usually with the intention to be informative and to raise awareness.
TLC is one of the pioneers of finding the wildest folks to make TV shows about. The channel is the home of Sister Wives, 90 Day Fiancé and 19 Kids and Counting, just to name a few.
And then we have My Husband’s Not Gay, a one-off special that aired 10 years that has just entered the pop culture realm this year because people are truly baffled about it.
The reality show has been rediscovered by social media commentators who can’t believe the show actually exists... but it does.
Advert
The one-off hour-long show follows four Mormon men in Salt Lake City, Utah, who openly discuss their issues with what is referred to in the show as 'SSA' (that’s short for same-sex attraction).
As you can imagine, it’s spoken about like it’s something to be feared.
Instead of embracing this part of themselves, they chose to ignore it and adopt a life of heterosexuality, despite only being attracted to other men, in order to remain in the church.
Three of the four men are married to women, and the show addresses this very sensitive topic in a sensationalised way, with cast members repeating the harmful notion that sexuality is a choice.
Recent viewers have shared their shock and sadness about the lives of the men. One person on Instagram wrote: “This is the saddest thing for everyone involved.”
Another person commented: “Actually heartbreaking. More concerned (understandably) of being shunned by their community and family for who they love instead of being able to experience being loved in their entirety.”
And a third shared: “This is heartbreaking. People unable to live their true selves and making up acronyms just to be accepted.”
Even when the show debuted in January 2015, it was met with condemnation, including petitions calling for it to be cancelled - one of which drew over 100,000 supporters.
Media monitoring organisations GLAAD and Truth Wins Out (TWO) also criticised the show.
A decade later and people who are just now discovering the programme and just as outraged. It’s unclear as to why the show has had a rebound in February 2025, however there are growing concerns about homophobic rhetoric spreading worldwide, particularly in the U.S., and how this will impact people day-to-day.
As Trump began his second term as POTUS, he demanded the closure of ‘radical and wasteful government DEI programs’. Diversity, equity and inclusion programmes were established to help the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as people of different racial, cultural backgrounds, and people with disabilities.
One relationship trend which has sparked conversations on social media as of late are “lavender marriages”. The phrase, which was created in the 20th century, describes something many LGBTQIA+ people who have been raised in oppressive environments have had to reconcile.
It describes a marriage between a man and a woman in which one or both partners are LGBTQIA+ but have to hide their sexual orientation. Although the men in My Husband’s Not Gay are very open about their attraction to other men, outside of reality TV this is not usually the case.
However, Gen-Z are apparently redefining the term into something that’s no longer about hiding who you truly are.
The new, trending meaning associated with this term relates to platonic marriages between two people, without either person having to remain in the closet.
Some people argue marrying someone for companionship offers more practical advantages, including sharing living costs, building a reliable support system, and for some, tax benefits, as per a popular Reddit thread.
And while these things may seem good on the surface - especially if you’re in dire need of a rent split - it may not be the ideal solution for everyone.
My Husband's Not Gay has the same absurdity and humour you typically see in TLC shows, but as many commentators have pointed out, the idea of having you hide a part of yourself to fit in is still a very important issue.