Paris Jackson opens up about 'really ugly' behaviour during addiction
Warning: This article contains discussion of drug addiction and self harm which some readers may find distressing.
Michael Jackson's only daughter, Paris, has opened up about her journey with addiction.
She took part in Jack Osbourne's Trying Not to Die podcast on Tuesday, May 26, and was extremely candid about her experiences.
Jackson, 28, said some of her behaviour while struggling with a drug and alcohol addiction was 'really ugly'.
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She revealed: "It's really ugly behaviour in a moral way, because I was raised to be kind — not nice, I could give a s--- about being nice — but kind."
The star continued: "Being kind and looking people in the eye and asking the waiter their name so you can write it down on the receipt later, just little things of, just like, how do you treat people?"
The singer-songwriter recalled going through 'years and years and years of self-hatred', before she became sober for six years and took a closer look at her behaviour and what drove her to do it.
Jackson first sought treatment when she was just 17-years-old, but said there was a 'lot of tell-tale signs' even at a very young age that she was different, and she also battled with self-harm.
"I struggled with self-harm for a really long time before I ever had my first drink or drug," she revealed. "I had weird relationships with overeating and food as a young kid."
She said that her moral compass disappears when under the influence: "'Oh, I may be a liar, a cheater... a thief, whatever, but I do have a moral compass, like, I was raised right in that way."
"What happens when I drink is that goes away. That goes right out the window and I become a very vindictive person," she confessed.
"There was this overall reachy, graspy energy that I only ever see in other addicts," she added. "Reaching for something outside of yourself."
Jackson shares updates of her life, taking things one day at a time with her sobriety.
In one post, she wrote: "Getting sober ain't always the indication that life is perfect. A few years in it all got very very hard. For what felt like an eternity. I didn't have the same survival skills I was used to having to cope. I had to learn to live life on life's terms."
According to People, she even revealed on TikTok that her drug use had left her with a 'perforated septum' and showed it on camera to warn people against the dangers, saying drugs had 'ruined my life'.
Paris was just 11 when her famous father, Michael, died of a propofol intoxication, and she shared on Instagram that she lives with 'CPSTD and OCD' as well as 'treatment resistant major depressive disorder'
She also told Osbourne she no longer feels obliged to share her relationship with her father publicly.
"There's definitely a certain element where I felt I had to share everything, and that has drastically changed in the last few years, because I don't really feel like any of us owe anyone anything."
"I'm now learning I can have my own personal relationship and I'm allowed to be private about it and I'm now like, my relationship is the most beautiful relationship ever," she said.
"I'm in a very beautiful spot with my dad and I love that and it's no one's business and I don't have to share that with anybody. And there's a lot of freedom in that, which is really cool."
"I'm not going to express my love in a copycat way, copying someone that didn't know him," she said. "Because I did. That was my best friend."
If you want friendly, confidential advice about drugs, you can talk to FRANK. You can call 0300 123 6600, text 82111 or contact through their website 24/7, or livechat from 2pm-6pm any day of the week
Or if you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.
Topics: Celebrity, Podcasts, Entertainment, Mental Health
Jen Thomas