Freddie Flintoff is opening up about the life-changing injuries he suffered while filming Top Gear.
In a new documentary on Disney+, the former England cricketer is filmed during his lengthy recovery in the months after the accident.
Opening up for the first time in detail about what happened to him while filming in December 2022, the 47-year-old has revealed how his injuries continue to have an effect in his life today.
Flintoff admits there were moments where he wished he had died in the crash.
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When discussing the depression he experienced after the crash, he said: "I didn't think I had it in me to get through.
"This sounds awful: part of me wishes I'd been killed. Part of me thinks 'I wish I had died.' I didn't want to kill myself. I don't want to mistake the two things.
"But I was thinking, 'This would have been so much easier.'"
Flintoff thought he 'was dead' in the immediate aftermath of the crash, in which he suffered facial injuries after flipping a three-wheeled car.
"I thought I was dead, because I was conscious but I couldn't see anything," he shared.
"I was thinking, is that it? Is that it? You know what I mean? Just black for the rest of my days?
"My hat came over my eyes – so I pulled my hat up and I thought, no I'm not (dead), I'm on the 'Top Gear' track, this is not heaven."
His 'biggest fear' was that being dragged along the track resulted in him no longer having a face.
"I thought my face had come off. I was frightened to death.
"As it started going over, I looked at the ground and I knew, if I get hit here on the side [of the head] then I'll break my neck, or if I get hit on the temple I'm dead. The best chance is to go face down.
"And then I remember hitting [the ground] and my head got hit. But then I got dragged out, and the car went over, and I went over the back of the car, and then (I got) pulled face down on the runway about 50m underneath the car. And then I hit the grass and then [it] flipped back."
Following the crash, the BBC paused production on the show.
Flintoff will be available to stream on Disney+ from tomorrow (25 April).
If you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.
Topics: Celebrity
Gregory Robinson