Phillip Schofield has said he ‘wouldn’t be here’ if it wasn’t for his daughters, having faced with suicidal thoughts in the wake of his affair scandal breaking out.
After stepping down from This Morning, Schofield, 61, admitted to having an ‘unwise but not illegal’ affair with a younger male colleague while still married to his wife.
He has since been dropped by his talent agency YMA and from his role as ambassador for the Prince’s Trust.
ITV said that it had investigated reports of the affair, but that both parties denied any relationship – having since asked a barrister to carry out an 'external review of the facts' surrounding Schofield’s departure.
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Schofield has now started speaking out about what happened with the younger colleague, having said in his first bombshell interview with The Sun yesterday (1 June) that he is not a groomer.
When asked how he was, he replied: “I am in a very bad way. Mentally, utterly, utterly broken.
“And if it hadn’t been for my girls last week I wouldn’t be here.
“I know I deserve it but they said, ‘Don’t you dare, we’re here to look after you’. I feel embarrassed and ashamed.
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“I have just felt like I was going lower and lower and lower and lower. And then, this bizarre, numbness washes over you, like a selfishness.
“I’ve had such a s*** couple of years, and with this ultimate final cataclysm, I looked ahead at nothing and the girls said, ‘Don’t, we are here to look after you. Don’t you dare do it on our watch’.
“And that took me one step back and they won’t leave me alone. They were guarding me.”
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He echoed this statement in another interview with the BBC, saying he had been coping with suicidal thoughts in the wake of the affair scandal breaking out.
"Last week, if my daughters hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here," he said.
"They've been by my side every moment because they're scared to let me out of their sight."
Schofield said he also believes his ‘career is over’, and doubts he will ever return to TV.
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"I have to talk about television in the past tense, which breaks my heart," he said.
"I have lost everything.”
Schofield also discussed the nature of the relationship, and how it came about, saying his first romantic encounter with the male co-worker took place in his dressing room.
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He claimed there were only five or six such encounters in total over the course of a few months.
The former presenter has argued that he and the colleague were ‘not boyfriends’, and that the ‘massive age gap’ is something ‘that happens in life'.
“I think there is an enormous amount of homophobia that it happens to be male, but if it was male-female then it wouldn't be such a scandal,” he said.
However, Schofield accepted the affair was a ‘grave error’, saying: "I shouldn't have done it."
When asked about the affair raising questions about the power balance between him and his younger colleague, he said: "I understand that, and it's a very valid question to put to me.
"If it's an abuse of power, it's not in my nature to be that person, but of course it could be perceived as that.
“But that wasn't how it felt at the time."
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123
Topics: Celebrity, Phillip Schofield
Jess Hardiman