We All Need To Stop Obsessing Over Molly-Mae Getting Engaged, Expert Says
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Featured Image Credit: Molly-Mae Hague/Instagram
"It's happening," one person wrote, alongside an outburst of engagement ring emojis, while another confirmed: "He’s deffo gunna propose." A third announced: "IF HE DON’T PROPOSE IMA DO IT FOR HIM I SWEAR TO GOD".
Before the 22-year-old influencers - who met on Love Island in 2019 - had even touched down in the Big Apple, social media was awash with comments of a similar nature.
In fact, people were so invested that 'Molly-Mae' started trending on Twitter, filled with scrupulous fans ready to examine every photo for slithers of a diamond ring hiding in a jean pocket or hidden beneath a teddy coat sleeve.
Even Molly-Mae herself has addressed the speculation, in a vlog posted after the couple's return.
"I'm getting a little bit sick and tired... no I'm joking, I'm not getting sick and tired but every single person thinks Tommy's proposing to me out here but he literally booked this trip two days ago.
"This hasn't been planned for long at all. I can promise you guys, he is not proposing to me."
But amongst thousands of fans begging to know the deets, some were left wondering - why are we really so obsessed with this? It's easy to forget that it was only just over two years ago that the pair met in The Hideaway's hot tub. Does a holiday in NYC have to mean an engagement? Or can it simply mean exactly what it is?
As one fan put it: "Can we just remember that Molly-Mae and Tommy have been together about two years and are 22 years old. Everyone going mental because they didn’t get engaged when are just living their best young life... calm down ffs."
Of course, while many of us have an invested interest in the lives of celebrities, questioning the perceived 'milestones' so intensely is really no different to questioning our friends and family - and most of us will know just how annoying the good old 'you'll be next!' comment is, especially in relation getting engaged or starting a family.
Relationship therapist Vanessa Cochrane tells Tyla: "Regardless of your views on marriage, a couple’s engagement is personal to them.
"Enquiring or ‘obsessing’ over a couple’s current relationship status usually focuses on what other perceives to be a lack of what they have, whether the couple wants it or not. Typically, the ‘lack of’ gains momentum in a formula of: Dating – ‘when are you getting engaged’; married – ‘when are you having children’; children – ‘how many are you having’."
And just because we see some of their lives on social media, it doesn't mean we're entitled to see all of it.
It's also important to remember that not every couple wants to get married. Natasha Briefel, marketing director at dating app Badoo UK, explains that we shouldn't presume a couple are headed towards marriage, just because they've been together for a number of years.
"Marriage is a tradition that’s embedded in society - so it’s difficult for people to shake the fact that some may just not want to get married at all, or feel that it’s necessary to them," says Natasha.
"Others really want to get married and believe in getting to this milestone, and celebrating each other in this way. There is no right or wrong answer, but it’s important that we remember everyone has different goals when it comes to marriage, and that we don’t put any pressure on ourselves or others to do something, just because it’s so ingrained in society."
Natasha explains that it's easy to become obsessed with the lives of celebrities, but what is it about Molly-Mae and Tommy that fans are so invested in? Perhaps it's because we watched the early days of their relationship play out on Love Island.
Natasha agrees, adding: "The infatuation with Molly and Tommy’s relationship is likely down to the fact that they met on Love Island, and the first few weeks of their relationship was shown to millions on TV."
"As Molly & Tommy reveal more and more about their lives together, people become more and more involved with their progress, and naturally start to admire them as a couple."
It's this kind of admiration that Vanessa describes as similar to the way we would obsess over characters from fairy tales as children.
"As adults, apply the same dreamlike fantasies to celebrities. Just as we dreamed of mimicking the likes of Cinderella as children, we often attempt to mimic the successes of celebrities when we are adults," she says.
"When these celebrities are relatable (as Molly and Tommy are), we see their successes are ours. Additionally, we don’t just think of the engagement, but imagine what their wedding will look like, it’s run up etc again, emulating the child like fairy tales."
While we look forward to the day that Molly and Tommy may (or may not) announce their engagement, in their own time, for now, maybe we should all take a step back (and stop zooming in on Molly's left hand!)