Celebs Go Dating star Anna Williamson has opened up about struggling with suicidal thoughts after the birth of her first baby.
Anna, 41, is mum to son Vincenzo and daughter Eleanora who she shares with husband Alex Di Pasquale.
While Anna has now recovered from her experience with postpartum depression, she has bravely has opened up about the period of her life, and how she sought help to recover.
Anna explained to OK! Magazine that she 'hated being pregnant the first time around'.
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"I would go from zero to 100 with my mood swings," she explained. "I was incredibly irrational, mentally unstable throughout that pregnancy, which then ramped up into birth and I had a terrible birth with Enzo."
Explaining that she experienced a change in her identity when she welcomed her son, Anna added: "I was in I was in serious trouble. I mean, I was borderline postpartum psychosis, I was having suicidal thoughts, and then intrusive thoughts. I was scared to be left alone with him [my baby]."
Nine days after she welcomed Enzo, Anna called in the help of a psychiatrist friend and went on short-term medication. She then started bottle feeding as opposed to breastfeeding, explaining the pressure of being the 'only person that could feed this little boy' was adding to her distress.
"If you're highly anxious, you've just had a two and a half litre haemorrhage and you're not drinking and eating, guess what? You're not going to make much breast milk. So this little baby was starving. I needed someone to take that pressure away from me that someone else could feed that little baby," she said.
Anna believes that medication, support and therapy all contributed to helping her recover. When she welcomed her daughter, Anna had a caesarean and her depression didn't return.
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"I feel like I'm proof in the pudding that if you get the right support network around you, if you get the right self help, and you really champion yourself that you fortunately, I think, can ward against some of these horrible mental health issues," she said.
Anna isn't the only mum in the spotlight to open up about postpartum struggles recently.
Earlier this week, former TOWIE star Jess Wright discussed her own battle after welcoming baby boy Presley in May.
Speaking to Fabulous magazine, Jess, 36, told her husband William Lee-Kemp that she 'didn't want to be here' after suffering with depression.
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Jess explained she had a traumatic birth, with Presley born via emergency caesarean before being admitted into NICU (neonatal intensive care) for five nights.
“When we got through the door, my mum [Carol, 62] and sister [Natayla, 21] had put up all these big gorgeous balloons with Presley’s name and birth weight on, and I just burst into tears," she said.
"Will was like: ‘Are you OK?’ And I was like: ‘No.’ The only way I could describe it was like depression, because I’ve had that before and that’s exactly what it felt like. My home felt like a different place.
“My dog Bella was there and I didn’t want Will to give the baby attention – I wanted him to give Bella attention, because I was devastated that she felt neglected.
"It gets me upset thinking about it now, which is ridiculous. [But] I’ll never have the feeling of coming home from the hospital and being happy because… depression took it away.”
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Jess added that she felt overwhelmed in the first few weeks of motherhood. “I was so scared that I wasn’t doing it right. If I was changing him right, if I was burping him right.
"Obviously I was – I’m his mum, so my instincts were there. But my hormones were completely all over the place. I was a bit of a wreck.
"... At the beginning, that feeling was so daunting. I would just look at this baby, who was just so precious, and think: ‘My life is never going to be the same, because I want to go out and I can’t. Will I ever be able to work again?’"
After a month, Jess began to feel like her old self, thanks to the support of doctors, health visitors and her family and friends.
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We're so glad Jess is feeling better. Well done to Jess and Anna for speaking out!
If you or someone you know are struggling, you can find help, support and advice at pre and post natal depression charity, PANDAS.
You can also find help at mental health support charity, Mind.
Lucy Devine