Featured Image Credit: TikTok: Mindful_Tom and Alexander James at drunkscribe.com
Isabella Timpany
A mental health blogger has been praised for sharing some valuable relationship advice,
Psychology student Tom Hulme's video, in which he shared the one sentence that he claims can 'save nine out of 10 arguments', has reached 1.9million views and counting.
Watch the video below to see for yourself:
Users in the comment section went wild for the tip, and claimed the advice helped their own relationships.
One user said, “ THIS ! I’ve been struggling with communicating my need for comfort when I’m stressed. My partner offers solutions usually because they want to help. This 🙏”
Another said, “This with three options, space, comfort or solutions”.
Another comment claimed it stopped their own argument: “Just used this today and it stopped an argument between my BF and I who fight 24.7. Thank you!!”
Tom expands on the advice in the comment section, saying “Comfort could be being present with your partner and listening to their feelings/problems empathetically instead of finding a solution for them”.
The quote originally came from a tweet made by writer, Alexander James, @DrunkScribe on Twitter.
The tweet, from January 2021, reached 66,400 likes.
In response to the tweet, one user said, “This is key. My family says, “are we listening or problem solving?”.
Alexander James replied “Yes, I so often jump to fixing things, and sometimes she just needs to vent about something. And vice versa, sometimes I need help with a fix, not just to be listened to.”
However, Alexander James didn’t agree with all of the responses to his tweet.
Another tweeted her own approach, “I say something similar to this whenever a loved one asks for my opinion. I say “do you want my actual advice or do you want me to make you feel better?”
Alexander said, “Interesting approach. From an outside opinion that’s a pretty knives-out way of communicating because it sounds like (again, my opinion) you’re really asking ‘want my real opinion, or want me to lie to you to spare your feelings’”
One user said “I’m going with one is not mutually exclusive of the other. It’s possible to have both . Comfort without solution is indulgent, solution to a problem without comfort is expedient but not a problem truly resolved emotionally . My opinion”
Alexander said, “I disagree. Politely of course. Comfort without solution is just comfort. Indulgence by another word, maybe. But there’s nothing wrong with being indulgent. Some problems don’t need a fix.”
Would you try this advice in your relationship?