A teenager, who was sexually assaulted by a bouncer while passed out after her drink was 'spiked', has waived her right to anonymity to publicly speak out and hit back against 'victim blaming' and encourage other survivors to not be 'ashamed'.
Sophia Heyman, 19, went to visit a friend in London where they attended a private party after lockdown restrictions eased earlier this year at an apartment in the city centre with some of his friends.
She had arrived in London earlier the same day and got ready while she waited for her friend to finish work. After eating some food, they arrived at the party at 9.30pm and started drinking.
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After only three drinks, Sophia said she began to feel excessively drunk and had to be sick in the bathroom before she was left in the bedroom to sleep it off. Before being sick, Sophia had asked the bouncer to briefly hold her drink while she had a cigarette on the balcony.
Sophia's friends tried numerous times to check on her but they were reassured by the man who was acting as security for the party that he would take care of her.
Sophia, from Stevenage, Hertfordshire, said: "We had only been there for about two hours when I started to feel really drunk and went to the bathroom to be sick.
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"My friend knocked on the door and helped me out of the bathroom and then the bouncer picked me up and put me in the bedroom.
"I saw him earlier and asked him to hold my drink so I think he spiked me because I only had about three drinks and I'm not a lightweight.
"I was pretty much passed out but remember him coming into the room a few times - I didn't fully wake up so I don't know what he was doing while I was passed out.
"The last time I woke up he was grabbing my boobs and lifting my dress up. I sat still for a couple of seconds trying to decide what I was going to do.
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"I didn't know whether to push him off because I was scared of how he would react and if he would take it further.
"He didn't rape me because I was lucky enough to wake up while he was pulling my dress up but he was already touching me inappropriately.
"I asked for my friend and he stopped straight away, obviously shocked that I'd woken up. Every time I close my eyes I can picture his face to this day."
She left the party straight away and felt anxious the next day. The social media manager said: "It really freaked me out and I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
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"When I walked out the bedroom he was standing there and I couldn't even look him in the eye. I wanted to fight him and say why did you do that but I couldn't.
"We left straight away, by then it was about 1am and I really wanted to go home but I couldn't get to Stevenage at that time so I had to go and stay at my friend's house.
"I didn't really sleep that night because I was so anxious and just kept seeing his face every time I closed my eyes. Even the next day I was really anxious and didn't want to eat.
"My mum and step-mum came to pick me up and drove me home the next day. My mum was asking me questions about what happened but I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet."
Sophia decided against reporting the incident to the police after hearing from other victims who said the system failed them.
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Criticism from those closest to her also made her more reluctant to report the traumatic incident. Sophia claims that when some men hear about what happened to her, their reaction can be to criticise her for 'allowing that to happen by getting so drunk' rather than blaming the culprit.
"I was going to call the police but decided not to because the system fails so many people and I knew it would annoy me too much if I put myself through that and they said there was nothing they could do," she explained.
"But even now I think maybe I should've gone to the police and tried.
"The reaction from some people didn't help - one boy at the party didn't believe me when I told him what happened but he does now because the bouncer did the same thing to another girl a few weeks later.
"Another man [when told what happened] - instead of asking if I was okay - just said 'why did she get so drunk and allow that to happen', which is how a lot of men seem to react and I think it's disgusting."
Sophia now posts about being a survivor on TikTok to encourage other victims to not be ashamed. She also reminds other girls to always watch their drinks, even when if they are at a place where they think they can trust everyone there.
"Posting about it on TikTok has really helped me cope - instead of sitting feeling sorry for myself I want to help other people," she said.
"I've gone out drinking since but I always keep my glass in my hand now as every girl needs to because it can happen to anyone, anywhere.
"I was to show other victims of sexual assault that you don't have to be ashamed because it's never our fault."
If you have been affected by this story, you can find help, advice and support from Rape Crisis here, or Women's Aid here.
Topics: News