Alanis Morissette shares 'terrible' reality of postpartum depression after three children
Warning: This article contains discussion of psychosis and intrusive thoughts which some readers may find distressing.
Alanis Morissette has opened up about her multiple experiences with post-partum depression on a new podcast.
The 'Ironic' singer has appeared on the latest episode of Call Her Daddy, and is trying to break the stigma around mental health in the wake of childbirth.
Morissette has three children, Ever, 14, Onyx, 10, and Winter, seven, who she shares with her husband, Mario 'Souleye' Treadway, who she married in 2010.
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The star confessed: "I always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to have kids. So it was a bit of a no-brainer for me."
The host, Alex Cooper, asked her about her experiences.
"I call it postpartum activity because it's not just depression," explained Morissette.
"If you've had a history of depression, from my experience each postpartum depression gets increasingly harder," she revealed.
"I just wanted to meet my kids though so badly so I kept going, but I basically became another person, with all of the hormones are all over the place... menopausal flux combined with depression, invasive thoughts that are so harrowing, it's terrible," confessed the singer.
"Ceaseless, invasive thoughts, anxiety, depression, rage off the charts, I felt completely out of control, and yet I was touring and leading and being a boss and being someone taking care of money and finances and everything," she recalled.
"That part is the part where when I'm quiet and alone, I might weep a little bit here," before explaining how she talked to a lot of 'really, really smart, supportive postpartum support peeps' but acknowledged it was still 'really, really, really, really, really, really hard.'
Cooper asked how she coped with each pregnancy, after mentioning it worsened each time.
"The first time I waited a year and two months, second time I waited eight months, and third time I think I waited three days," explained the star.
"I was just like, 'Oh no, I'm not doing this again,' and I did it again! And then we toured during COVID, with post-partum depression", she said, looking back at that tour.
She said she 'dipped into psychosis' due to the stress of the tour as well, but still showed up onstage every night.
The star also recalled how she thinks joy is 'very cool' and a form of activism now, but said that her life experiences meant she was very experienced with the depression side of PPD.
"It was all the other stuff," that was a problem, she said.
"It was the invasive thoughts, and the terror, just all I could picture was death and terrible things. I feel so happy that I'm back now, by the way," she added with a smile.
Morissette said one of the hardest aspects was 'losing people's trust in my sanity.'
"I have spent my whole life attempting to establish to people I love that I'm safe and that I'm predictable and that all of a sudden I wasn't," she recalled.
She also talked about how women are treated differently during the second trimester of pregnancy but the become 'invisible' again after the birth, and then it quickly becomes "Why haven't you lost 42lbs yet?"
Back in 2019, she told CBS about her experiences: "I spoke with a professional who knew all about postpartum depression, and I asked her, 'Does this go away if I just white knuckle through it?' She said, 'No, it actually gets worse,'" recounted the singer.
"So as soon as I heard that, I thought, 'It can't get worse than this.' Then I went on medication right away."
If you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pmâmidnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.
Topics:Â Celebrity, Mental Health, Pregnancy, Parenting
Jen Thomas