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Child psychologist shares trick parents need to know to 'defuse' tantrums

Home> Life

Published 15:25 9 Mar 2023 GMT

Child psychologist shares trick parents need to know to 'defuse' tantrums

A child psychologist has shared some tips for parents to help stop tantrums from their children.

Callum Jones

Callum Jones

If you have a little one, you may be all too familiar with the regular tantrum when your child does not get their own way.

Sometimes, these situations can be pretty challenging for parents and ones that can get out of control if you don't know how to deal with them.

And if you are one of those parents who feels you need some advice on defusing a tantrum before it gets out of control, listen up.

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Thankfully, the tips provided from child psychologist and neuroscientist Professor Sam Wass are quite simple and ones you can certainly implement straight away if needs be.

Professor Sam Wass has the child temper tantrum advice.
emjhCreative / Stockimo / Alamy Stock Photo

Professor Wass is an expert in all things child stress and attention and has previously shared his knowledge on the Channel 4 show The Secret Life of 4 and 5 Year Olds.

Speaking to The Mirror, Professor Wass has shared his tips for dealing with tantrums and he has also provided parents with some things to avoid, including one that parents often do.

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The professor warned against using calm and logic to try and calm your child, but instead use certain words and language tricks.

He said: "Parents tend to find tantrums challenging as they're directed at you. When a younger child gets upset you're there to help them, but when toddlers have tantrums you're the focus and it feels like you've caused it.

"Because of that it's easy to be very calm and reasonable with your child and try to use logic to persuade them [to change their behaviour], but that doesn't work with toddlers because they don't do logic.

"They are at this stage when the emotional centres of their brains are massive and their reason centres are tiny, so a much more effective way to deal with a tantrum is to comment on what they're saying and echo it back to them using their language."

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The professor warned against using calm and logic.
Leila Cutler / Alamy Stock Photo

You probably thinking, well, how exactly can I implement this?

Professor Wass explains: "If the child is talking in two-word phrases, saying things like 'want juice' or 'want custard', you can match their language and their intonation.

"They'll be very up and down in their voice, so you copy that. Match their state and what they're saying, commentate on it, almost like a football commentator would, so if they're saying 'I want custard', you would say, 'Freddie wants custard' to make sure they feel understood.

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"This feeling of being understood will help them calm down and then you'll be able to shift their attention onto something else."

The professor concluded by saying that it may feel 'weird' at first for parents, but he sees it as the quickest way to see results.

Featured Image Credit: profsamwass.com

Topics: Parenting

Callum Jones
Callum Jones

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