Psychologist reveals two red flags that people always miss in relationships
A psychologist has revealed two red flags that people should look out for that people often miss in relationships.
Relationship red flags are not always blindingly obvious, as a whirlwind start to a romance may be a disguise for underlying motives.
The start to any new relationship is an exciting time - so many date nights, compliments, and grand gestures.
And while the honeymoon period is something to be enjoyed, it's also the time to be most cautious.
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Romantic gestures here and there are of course appreciated, but if you feel slightly bombarded by an overwhelming outpouring of love - there could be some questions to ask.
It's hard to imagine how endearing behaviour can lead to something more sinister, but it's important to look at where it stems from.
Love-bombing
Love-bombing is the term given to this concept, and it is believed the reason for it is generally rooted in low self-esteem.
A love-bomber tends to use excessive displays of affection as a way to boost their sense of self worth.
Research shows that much darker intentions can be derived from love-bombing.
Attachment
Love-bombers tend to show how committed they are to the relationship via grand gestures and a ridiculous outpouring of love, but this also develops their persuasive control.
Virtue signalling
They often focus their intentions on morals and values, to overemphasise their authenticity.
Gaslighting
By spoiling their target with gifts and gestures, it's hard for them to question or bring up their behaviour. If a victim of love-bombing was to suggest that they weren't happy with a part of their relationship, they could be shut down by being reminded of how lucky they are.
Addictive control
They draw their target into a fantasy-like relationship, but one which they know can be ended at any point. This enforces the love-bomber control.
Once they are much further into their relationship, the love-bomber may stop with the outpouring of love, which makes their partner become addicted to the idea of gaining that back - and the cycle continues.
Overprotectiveness
As with love-bombing, protectiveness can veer into the realm of control quite easily.
What - on surface level - may seem as a partner simply looking out for their other half, could actually be them micromanaging someone's life.
Controlling behaviours seek to restrict independence and freedom, which are of course the foundations for any healthy relationship.
Avoiding wanting to hurt a partner's feelings could be a reason for letting certain behaviours slip.
Topics: Advice, Mental Health, Sex and Relationships, Life, Dating
Mia Williams