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Ex-Mormon explains 'durfing' bedroom trend young members use as secret loophole

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Published 14:07 19 Sep 2024 GMT+1

Ex-Mormon explains 'durfing' bedroom trend young members use as secret loophole

The Church of Latter-Day Saints are pretty restrictive when it comes to sexual allowances

Rhianna Benson

Rhianna Benson

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, TV And Film, Reality TV

Rhianna Benson
Rhianna Benson

Rhianna is an Entertainment Journalist at LADbible Group, working across LADbible, UNILAD and Tyla. She has a Masters in News Journalism from the University of Salford and a Masters in Ancient History from the University of Edinburgh. She previously worked as a Celebrity Reporter for OK! and New Magazines, and as a TV Writer for Reach PLC.

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@rhiannaBjourno

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Now that we're all obsessed with Hulu's new reality series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, we can hardly be surprised to hear that the Church of Latter-Day Saints have some pretty harsh rules when it comes to sex.

What you may not know, however, is that within the niche religious community, there are certain loopholes that particularly raunchy members use as a means of achieving physical intimacy - including 'durfing'.

Mormons must abide by a vow of chastity (Douglas Sacha/Getty)
Mormons must abide by a vow of chastity (Douglas Sacha/Getty)

Why is everyone going on about Mormons?

As we say, the controversial new Mormon reality show - which can also be found on Disney+ - has set tongues wagging since the moment it landed earlier this month.

By the sounds of things, the binge-worthy series has the eyes of many viewers about the realities of living in the largely-restrictive Christian community.

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On top of things, a batch of TikTok-using Mormon teenagers have seemingly jumped on the bandwagon, and are documenting their unique life experiences on social media.

And amongst the many aspects of Mormon life that has left followers mesmerised, is their rigid attitude towards sex.

What are their rules about physical intimacy?

Apparently, members of this society are not permitted to engage in any form of intimacy outside of marriage (whether pre-marital or extra-marital).

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Mormons apparently find means of enjoying physical intimacy without 'having sex' (Meng Yiren/Getty)
Mormons apparently find means of enjoying physical intimacy without 'having sex' (Meng Yiren/Getty)

And even masturbation is considered a big no-no.

This is because they believe family is integral to the plan of God - so jeopardising that is unacceptable - as one of the Bible's 10 commandments ordains: "Thou shalt not commit adultery."

That said, some Mormons go to bizarre lengths to exploit apparent loopholes in the sex ban.

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As we say, though, there are some means of getting around these bans.

Enter, 'durfing'.

What is 'durfing'?

According to former Mormon Alyssa Grenfell - who goes by the handle @alyssadgrenfell online - this x-rated term describes the act of creating the 'motions of sex', all the while, 'clothed'.

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That's right, apparently, this doesn't count as a Mormon breaking their vow of chastity, as nothing is actually going anywhere.

Apparently, 'durfing' is common in Mormon society (Maskot/Getty)
Apparently, 'durfing' is common in Mormon society (Maskot/Getty)

Are there anymore Mormon sex loopholes?

To put it bluntly, yes - quite a lot.

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Hulu viewers learned firstly of the concept of 'soaking', which reportedly sees Mormons enjoy penetration, without actually moving.

Basically, the man inserts his penis into the women's vagina, but they both lie there completely still - essentially, letting it 'soak'.

The feeling of sex without actually having sex can also be intensified by 'jump humping', which sees a third party invited to the bedroom, where they'll jump on the bed so as to instigate movement between the two parties.

The more you know, eh?

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