Mum defends letting 12-year-old daughter have her armpits and facial hair waxed
A mum has re-opened a heated debate about all things parenting after defending a particular choice she made with her daughter.
The woman took to Kidspot to open up about letting her 12-year-old daughter have her armpits and facial hair waxed.
The choice came after the mum found out other children at her daughter's school made 'mean comments' about her child's 'pronounced' body and facial hair.
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She began: "My daughter *Lilly has had quite a pronounced body (arms and legs) and facial hair (above her lip and monobrow) for years.
"Up until the age of 10 she hadn’t really been too bothered by it but then because of mean comments other kids at school started to say to her, it did."
The mum recalled a particular instance when Lilly came home from school 'in tears' over the comments she received.
"From memory," the mum explained, "they referred to her as being a man in a girl’s body because of the distinct hair above her lip."
The mum admitted she had a 'horrible feeling' a situation like that would happen one day as the 'same thing' happened to her as a child too.
She continued: "I was hoping that she could at least get through primary school without her appearance being at the forefront of her mind.
"I have done my best to prepare for issues with body image and appearance... I guess though, no matter what sort of approach you take, you can't stop kids being kids and nasty comments being said."
However, with that said, the comments just 'kept coming'.
"For a few years, Lilly had wanted to have the hair on her face removed," the mum revealed. "She asked why it was okay for me to do it but not her.
"I tried to explain why these features shouldn’t be embarrassing and also that she was a bit too young which she begrudgingly accepted."
Fast-forward some more years and Lilly approached her mum again about hair removal.
The mum said: "I wasn’t really surprised, and I was also now on board with it. I knew from my own experience that shaving is such a pain and also seems to create more issues than it’s worth so I decided that we would visit a beauty salon and have these areas waxed."
After doing her research and making sure the salon was 'experienced with younger clientele' so that Lilly could have a positive first experience - the mum took her daughter to get the hair removed who 'didn't find it too painful at all'.
It was a massive 'relief' for the mum however, her sister-in-law didn't seem to agree after noticing.
"But rather than be supportive, she totally shamed me," the mum continued.
According to the mum, the family member asked: "Why on earth would you take a 12-year-old to get waxed?!
"Surely, there are age restrictions on doing things like that and even if there aren’t, surely as a parent you have a responsibility to your children?
"Not only is it physically painful but what sort of message are you sending, encouraging your impressionable child to have her hair removed?"
The sister-in-law added: "What happened to the unfair beauty standards that you are always going on about? Rather than modelling them, you have done the opposite."
The mum said the whole conversation was like 'receiving a lecture' and 'kept going' until she was eventually brought to tears.
The tears didn't seem to bother the family member though, who refused to apologise for the teary reaction.
The mum went on: "Her words though left me feeling guilty, as if I had made the wrong decision and I went back and forth in my mind about it for days and days.
"Had I copped out and failed my values? Had I subjected my 12-year-old to something that she was too young for?"
She admitted that while her child is 'much happier' and 'more confident' now that the hair has been removed - the mum still has doubts.
"I know that I haven’t traumatised her like my sister-in-law insisted I would," she concluded, before admitting: "I still always have a question in the back of my mind about whether it was the right time."
Rhiannon Ingle