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Topics: Parenting, Life, Sex and Relationships
Tom Wood
A man has been urged to ditch his girlfriend after she suggested that he should give up custody of his young son for a relationship with her.
Yeah, it’s not exactly something you should ask of someone that you want to have a loving relationship with, is it?
Most people would put their kids first in any situation, but you can see how it might be difficult to give up your own happiness for your son.
Still, part of being a parent is that they’ve got to come first, which is what the vast majority of people reminded this bloke.
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Posting in the Parenting sub on Reddit, the man explained his predicament and asked for the internet’s help with his dilemma.
He said: “I’ve been dating this woman for 2 years now.
“She is amazing in so many ways. She’s brilliant. Successful. Fun. Thoughtful. Gorgeous. Jedi on the street and a Sith in the sheets Etc etc...
“But she never wanted to have kids. I have an 8-year-old son.”
Surely she knew that, though.
The post continued: “We broke up several months ago because she said she wouldn’t live together if it meant my son would live with us.
“She came back after some work with a therapist and said she could see the 3 of us living together. She would accept my son.
“So the 3 of us went on vacation.
“My son was every bit as good as anyone could expect an 8-year-old to be.
“She told me she nearly lost it a few times during the trip (because swim shorts left in the shower).
“Then she said she didn’t want my son at her house for the Super Bowl because he is isn’t into the game.
“She said she gets frustrated I can’t just pick up and go travel the world because I have to consider my son.
“Then she hinted if I gave up custody she would be ok with it.”
Yikes, it’s a massive ask, and it’s not a position that someone who claims to love you should put you in.
The man concluded: “I know this isn’t the woman I need in my child’s life.
“She is perfect in 99/100 ways.
“But this one way is too much right? Ugh It just sucks.”
It certainly does, but the internet was pretty unequivocal in stating that she needs to go.
“Dude, ditch the girl. You yourself know you gotta do that. Prioritize your son,” one said.
Another commented: “Her saying she’d be okay with him abandoning his kid means she’s an awful person.”
A third said: “Eh, treating your son badly and not wanting him around should be factoring more than 1/100 against her.
“I'd say this is a HUGE factor for ending the relationship, not a minor one. Your son's happiness should be extremely important.”
In the end, a decision was made, as the man came back and wrote: “Ok, despite the balance of opinions on if I should stay or go, my path is clear.
“It was clear before I posted it but everyone’s responses has helped provide clarity and foresight. Thanks internet, I appreciate all of it.”
It seems like he made the right call – let’s just hope he actually did.