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Mum says grandparents have to ask for consent before hugging toddler daughter

Poppy Bilderbeck

Published 
| Last updated 

Mum says grandparents have to ask for consent before hugging toddler daughter

Featured Image Credit: TikTok/@brittanybaxter_x

It's never too early to teach children valuable life lessons. A mum took to TikTok to share the important reason why her daughter's grandparents have to ask permission before hugging her. Watch what reason she gives below:

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We were all kids once, and many of us can relate to having had grandparents always asking for hugs and big smooches on the cheek, that we'd usually just grin and bear.

Australian mum Brittany Baxter (@brittanybaxter_x), however, is raising her daughter to do differently and has taken to TikTok to explain why grandparents shouldn’t feel entitled to hugs and kisses from little ones.

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She shared that ‘something has really been bothering [her] lately’, going on to explain her toddler’s grandparents needed to ‘do better’.

In the video, Brittany explains she's been teaching her daughter consent ‘basically since the day she’s been born’, but her attempts to teach her daughter bodily autonomy has been hampered by relatives going in for hugs without asking.

She explains: "Can we please start normalising the fact that kids do not have to kiss and hug adults?"

A mum has explained why grandparents shouldn't feel entitled to hugs from toddlers. Credit: TikTok/@brittanybaxter_x
A mum has explained why grandparents shouldn't feel entitled to hugs from toddlers. Credit: TikTok/@brittanybaxter_x
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The mum continues: "My daughter is almost two years old and I’ve been in the process of teaching her consent basically since the day she’s been born and I find it really f**king unhelpful when the adults in her life are like, 'What, we have to ask for a kiss or a hug?' even though I’ve explained why multiple times.

"My daughter and her body do not exist to make anyone feel more comfortable or anyone feel more loved.

"No one’s feelings are ever going to be more important than my daughter’s right to her own body. And I’m sure as s**t not going to allow her to grow up in an environment where: 1. She doesn’t know how to say no and 2. She doesn’t know what it looks like for her no to be respected."

Despite the importance of Brittany teaching her daughter consent from a young age, she ended up turning off comments on her post and explaining in follow-up videos it had been met with a mostly negative reaction.

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She took the time to respond to some of those in the comments calling out her parenting style.

Grandparents asking permission for hugs helps teach kids consent. Credit:  Johner Images / Alamy Stock Photo
Grandparents asking permission for hugs helps teach kids consent. Credit: Johner Images / Alamy Stock Photo

One commenter wrote: "I encourage my 21-month[-old’s] bond with my parents and she is so connected to them, I really don’t get your anger."

Brittany responded: "Have you actually asked your child if that’s what they want and that’s what they need? Or are you encouraging and fostering that relationship because it meets your needs?"

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Another commenter said: "I love this in theory but I’m curious how you deal with situations involving hygiene and health."

Brittany replied: "My daughter is turning two - I know she cannot wash her body without my help or my husband’s help.

"So when it comes to that time, I state the boundary, 'Hey Bubby, it’s time to get clean now, we need to wash your body.'

"I explain why, ‘We need to wash our bodies because that how we take care of our bodies, that’s going to keep our bodies healthy, etc. etc."

Topics: Health, Life, News, Parenting, Real Life, TikTok

Poppy Bilderbeck
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