Mum says she only lets her daughter go to sleepovers if she vetted the adults there

It's no secret that parents need to be hyper-vigilant when it comes to their children's welfare, especially when they are around other adults.

Now, one mum has revealed that her daughter can only sleepover at her friends' houses after she's had a chance to vet their parents.

Kristi McVee, 42, was a child abuse detective, and she's taken to TikTok to share the things she thinks other parents should be 'mindful' of.

She explained that over the years, she's been involved in many 'devastating cases', which have involved 'child molestation from family members, dropped cases and cases involving children as young as four.'

The first point she stressed to parents is that they shouldn't 'blindly trust' anyone in their children's lives, including their grandparents and friends.

This led her to her second point about sleepovers.

She said she never let her daughter attend sleepovers until she was 12 - and this was after she had vetted everyone who was present.

Prior to this, she held sleepovers at her home because she could guarantee her daughter's safety there.

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Kristi, who has written a book about her experiences, said: "I would be the one to hold the sleepovers - because I'm trustworthy and I knew I could keep her safe.

"If I was holding a sleepover, there wouldn't be any other adults present at my house.

"I've seen several cases where a sleepover has happened at the same time as the parents throwing a party for other adults - and a member of the party has sexually assaulted one of the young girls staying over.

"If my daughter did want to go on a sleepover - I'd have a thorough vetting process. I'd ask questions such as - 'Who's going?' and 'What are you going to be doing?"

"Are they going to be allowed on devices, or are they going to be taken away at a certain stage?"

Kirsti said that it's important to be vigilant because her experience in the police force taught her that it's not just adults who should be vetted before a sleepover.

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The mum, who retired from the police force in 2020, said: "In most cases, the abuser will be a relative, friend or sibling within the home.

"I used to see it all the time on the job - and it's not only boys who do it, girls can be perpetrators, too.

"Brothers, cousins and friends are the most common."

The mum's warning is backed up by statistics too, and in Australia, where she is from, between 30 and 50 percent of child sex abuse is carried out by other children.

This number sits as high as 60 percent in the UK.

Kirsty's third warning to parents concerned the internet, and she advised that no child is given unrestricted access to it.

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She explained that the internet, from what she has seen, is contributing to an increased number of children displaying 'harmful sexual behaviours.'

She said: "Most children in Australia are being exposed to pornography by the age of nine - unrestricted access to the internet is allowing children to see and hear things that aren't meant for them.

"And now we're seeing this increase in children harming other children because of what they see online.

"They see these things and then they go and try them out on a child who's vulnerable and younger than them.

"Therapy and rehabilitation are generally needed in these cases, rather than punishment."

If you'd like to find out more about Kirsti's advice for keeping children safe, her book, Operation KidSafe, is available on Amazon.

Topics: Real Life

Emma Guinness

@guinness_emma