Dad divides opinion after telling teenage son to 'man up' instead of crying
Topics: Life, Technology, Health
Joe Harker
Featured Image Credit: Darren Baker/Alamy Stock Photo/Antonio Guillem Fernández/Alamy Stock Photo
Topics: Life, Technology, Health
A dad ended up dividing opinion online after he told his teenage son to 'man up' after he began crying over a major disappointment.
In response, the son didn't talk to his dad for a week and has been left wondering whether he was in the right or not.
Turning to Reddit for some advice, the son posted on their 'Am I The A**hole' subreddit laying out his predicament and wanting to know if his reaction had been wrong.
In his post, he explained that he was a 16-year-old who'd got upset after failing to make it into a soccer team, which is what caused him to cry as he said it 'hurt really badly that I didn't get in'.
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He explained that he'd been comforted by his friends, girlfriend, mum and sister when they'd learned of his disappointment, but his dad had a different reaction.
While he'd managed to keep it together in front of his friends, he admitted he'd ended up crying in the shower because he was 'disappointed with myself' and cried again later.
His mum and sister found him and started to comfort him, but the teenager told how his dad 'starts scolding me for not doing enough'.
The teen said his dad started lecturing him before saying he 'finds it stupid that I'm crying over it'.
He said his dad told him 'back when he was young he didn't cry' before finishing with those two words which have been spoken so much: 'Man up'.
The argument lasted for an hour but the silence between father and son persisted for a week and caused a debate over whether people should be saying 'man up' any more.
The teen revealed that the debate had even split his family, with his mother thinking the falling out between father and son was 'unreasonable' while his sisters thought their dad 'shouldn't have said those things'.
Opinion was split in the comments below, though the most popular verdicts sided with the teen as people thought the father was 'trying to push his internalized toxic masculinity'.
People told the teen it was 'okay to be upset and even cry' at missing out on something you'd dreamed about, while others said the 'men don't cry' attitude 'needs to die'.
Others wanted to stress that his dad was only trying to help, and suggested he was trying to help his son learn that life does have disappointments and that he should 'learn not to let them impact you too hard'.
Some thought that the teen's dad had the right idea by trying to tell his son not to cry, but suggested he 'could have worded it better'.
Most offered comfort and advice to the teenager, telling him that while it wasn't the end of the world his emotions were completely valid and expressing them rather than suppressing was by far the healthier option.