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James Austin, 47, from Derbyshire, had been visiting his dad on the Costa Blanca earlier this month when he found a gift shop and decided to buy his kids - 13-year-old William and Oliver Austin and Samuel Austin, 10 - some sweets.
But when James brought the sweets home, he realised they were rather rude. The dad was shocked to find the chewy sweets were actually a colourful assortment of penises, sperm cells, vaginas, and pairs of perky bum cheeks and breasts.
James quickly dashed to his youngest son's bedroom to take them back and 'avert the crisis'
James says the bags, sold from Candy Shop Diana, were displayed around waist height and were among other sweets, which is why he didn't think twice about examining them.
He revealed the incident in a viral LinkedIn post, denouncing himself as 'a terrible dad' for not realising.
James said: "It was a big parenting fail on my part but we made light of it.
"I couldn't deal with the conversation that it would have sparked with Samuel. He's got another two or three years until that sort of stuff is taught at school.
"I just wanted to get them a little treat, like you always do when you go away. I just assumed it was the Spanish Haribo.
"There weren't any labels on them and the bags were surrounded by lollipops and kiddy-type stuff, so I didn't expect a waist-high shelf to be selling that sort of confectionery.
"The kids have normally got sweets stashed in various areas in their bedrooms, so when I dished them out they scuttled upstairs.
"It wasn't until later on that evening until William came down in fits of laughter and asked 'have you seen these sweets, dad?', and me and Helen just looked at each other confused.
"When he brought them down and showed me the sperm one, he was still in hysterics and I didn't know how to reach.
"It suddenly dawned on me that Samuel might be about to open his so I quickly retrieved them from his room without him seeing and threw them straight in the bin.
"Once the crisis was averted, we had a good laugh at it. They're all very detailed.
"I did try one of them, and they were vile anyway. I sort of bit it, said 'nope' then put them all in the bin. Samuel did ask where his sweets had gone, but I told him they were off.
"Helen's just been rolling her eyes at me, but I'm glad everyone enjoyed my post."
The dad-of-three claims he's learned his lesson and will be sure to check the contents of sweets before handing them over to his kids in future.
And the boys were still able to enjoy large lollipops and a giant Milka chocolate bar he'd brought back for them!
Candy Shop Diana have been contacted for comment.
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