A woman has shared her moral dilemma after refusing to attend her brother’s child-free wedding, saying she doesn’t want to get a babysitter.
Wedding guests have A LOT of etiquette to remember on the big day, from not wearing white to making sure they don’t get too hammered at the reception.
And when it comes to who’s invited, ultimately we have little say – whether it’s a case of not being allowed a plus one to keep numbers down, or keeping kids away to make sure it’s the adults-only, boozy affair some people dream of.
But one woman was left in a bit of a pickle when she was invited to her brother’s wedding and saw that children weren’t allowed to come along.
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The 25-year-old shared her problem on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) forum, where she explained: “My (25 f) brother (20 M) is getting married to his fiancée (19 f) in two weeks, which we just found out over the weekend.
“They are getting married on her father's estate and the reception will be there as well. I don't really interact with his fiancée much, but she seems nice and makes my brother happy, so good for them.
“They let us know that the wedding would be childfree as well, which is entirely their choice, however as much as it hurts I don't think I am going to be attending.”
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She said her two-year-old daughter had recently been diagnosed with epilepsy, which she had also dealt with for most of her life.
“We are going through tests, medication changes, etc...” she said.
“The venue is over three hours away and I am completely uncomfortable leaving her for that long.
“I let my brother know this and he was hurt, and said that I am punishing them for having a childfree wedding, and they are entitled to do so.
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“I said he is absolutely entitled to do so, but they gave little notice and he can't get mad when people put their children first, especially when they are dealing with medical issues.”
The woman explained that she and her husband were together, but that he had to work away at the time of the wedding.
Her brother suggested she got a babysitter, but she told him ‘absolutely not’.
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“I am not comfortable doing that with everything going on,” she said.
“He said I was being an a**hole and ‘sorry the world doesn't revolve around your kid’.
“My parents understand my decision, his fiancée thinks I am being a complete asshole as well. AITA?”
Many people agreed with the woman’s parents, saying she was ‘not the a**hole’.
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"Tell your brother the world doesn't revolve around his shotgun wedding,” one wrote, with another saying: “Your brother will get over it. Epilepsy is scary until everything gets figured out. Don't blame you at all for wanting to stay with your little girl. Send a lovely gift, and best wishes.”
Someone else asked: “When did this insane trend of childfree people having childfree weddings and telling parents what to ‘do with their kids’ begin?? It’s so pervasive!
"I had to cancel plans to attend two weddings last fall basically last minute as no one had mentioned (until after I secured an Airbnb and began shopping for plane tickets) that the wedding was childfree.”
They also said of their cousin’s childless wedding: “Apparently a bunch of their friends had to choose which partner would DRIVE THE KIDS AROUND while the other one attended. What a rotten thing to do to people!”
A fourth added: “Absolutely NTA. The world doesn't revolve around your child, true, but right now YOUR world does revolve around your child.”
Jess Hardiman