Cancer activist and former podcaster Deborah James has admitted that she's 'scared to fall asleep' in a heartbreaking health update.
Deborah, 40, has been keeping followers up to date on her cancer journey ever since she was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2016, but announced earlier this month that she would no longer be pursuing active care for her bowel cancer, moving to hospice at home care.
After leaving home and into her parents' Surrey home to receive her end of life care, Deborah revealed that her family were 'knackered'.
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Not long after being presented with her Damehood, Deborah offered supporters an update, revealing that she was "exhausted."
Speaking to The Sun, she said: "I don't feel like I'm on my deathbed.
"I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, but it's just so unpredictable.
"I'm scared to fall asleep and that’s one of the biggest reasons I'm so tired. I am scared to go to sleep."
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She continued that her family were just as tired as she was, saying: "I think my family are knackered, they have all been incredible – going above and beyond to look after me and nurse me.
"What I have seen from them in the last two weeks is true love, deep love. It’s overwhelming. They have all been amazing."
Deborah continued that she's determined to shield her children Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12, from seeing her more challenging moments.
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"I feel very strongly that I don't want my kids to see me agitated and distressed, I want to make sure they see me when I’m having a good day.
"I don’t want them to take on the burden of having to care for me, massage my legs because I can’t walk. That would break my heart."
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Not long after she announced her plan to stop active care for her cancer, Deborah launched a fundraiser for charities close to her heart called the Bowel Babe Fund.
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Just days after it launched, she managed to raise a staggering £6.5 million, which will go to Cancer Research UK, Bowel Cancer UK, and Royal Marsden Cancer Charity.
Deborah has also revealed that she's set to have her second book How To Live When You Could Be Dead published.
The book has been fast tracked with a publication date now set for 18 August 2022, after a date in January 2023 was originally set.
All of Deborah's royalties will go into the Bowelbabe fund and publisher Penguin has agreed to make an additional contribution per each copy sold, meaning altogether the donation per book will be £3.
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For more information and advice on bowel cancer, visit Bowel Cancer UK.
Ali Condon