Dad-of-22 Noel Radford has opened up about one of the hardest dilemmas of his life, with family members growing concerned as they recognise how ‘upset’ he seemed by a huge bombshell from his past.
In Channel 5’s 22 Kids and Counting, we see 53-year-old Noel and his wife Sue, 49, as they raise their large brood, with kids ranging in age from four to 35.
While the show largely focuses on the couple’s parenting journey, in the latest episode we learn about revelations from their own childhoods.
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Noel became visibly emotional as he opened up about ‘missing’ his mum, who died four years ago.
But the sad loss also stirred up complex feelings about his family, as he reflected on how the woman he considered his mother was actually his adoptive parent.
“I think I was about seven or eight years old when my mum and dad told me I was adopted,” Noel recalled.
“I remember going to school the next day saying ‘I’m adopted, I’m special’.
“I guess the older you get the more curious you get and the other thing is, the clock’s ticking. I’m not getting any younger and she won’t be getting any younger.
“I can’t leave it another 10 years or so and then find out that she’s died, then have regrets for not doing it.”
Wife Sue said she’d realised how 'emotional’ Noel gets when talking about his adoption, adding: “He can never really hold his feelings in.
“His birth mum might not have anything to do with him.”
Noel decided to meet with a social worker to try and find out more about his birth mother, learning that he’d actually been given a different name when he was born.
“I found out my birth name - Robert,” he explained.
“It’s a bit weird because it never even crossed my mind if I had a different name.”
While Sue was also adopted, she admitted she had a very different stance when it came to her own history.
“Whilst Noel is wanting to meet his birth mum, I am very much the total opposite,” she said.
“I don’t have any interest in that. But I think it will definitely help him, I think he’s got a lot of questions that he’d like answers for.”
She also noted how Noel seemed ‘more upset than usual’, with their daughter Chloe, 29, agreeing he didn’t ‘seem himself’.
He later decided to meet with a psychotherapist called Cath, telling her: “Some of me says, yes, I would like to go and meet my birth mum. And some of me says no.
“I don’t think I realised how much emotion was involved.
“When I talk about my adoption, it does upset me.”
He said he thought he would like to meet his birth mother, if only to ‘thank her’ for giving him up and giving him the ‘best life ever’.
“If she wants to see me, that’s fine, that’s good,” Noel said.
“If she doesn’t want to, I’m not bothered.
“I don’t look at my birth mum as my mum. That’s just the way I feel.”
Fighting back tears, he added: “I’ve always found it difficult to talk about.”
His head in his hands, Noel continued: “I just love my mum to bits. My mum was a lovely person. I miss my mum.”
As Cath explained how she felt Noel’s ‘fragility’ was ‘more related to the loss of his adoptive mum’, he agreed: “I guess she’s right in thinking that I’m still upset about losing my mum.
"It feels nice to get a little bit off my chest and talk about it.
“I think meeting her would make me feel better. My mum would be happy for me to meet my birth mum.
“If I do meet her, I’ll see the life I could’ve led, the life Robert would’ve had with this lady.
“If it takes months and months to sort out and see her, that’s fine, it’s been 53 years, so it can wait a little while longer.”
Topics: Parenting, Channel 5, TV And Film
Jess Hardiman