Gemma Collins opens up on ‘the worst year of her life’ as she details losing her mum amid fertility struggles

Gemma Collins has bravely spoken out about what it was like to lose her mum and go through fertility issues in the same year, as she took part in a Q&A ahead of her new documentary.

The former TOWIE star, 45, is preparing for the release of her new Sky reality TV series, Gemma Collins. Everything. All At Once, which will begin airing episodes on 15 September.

The doc, which consists of eight instalments, shows the reality icon behind closed doors, revealing ‘a side of her rarely seen before’.

As per the show’s description, Gemma ‘allows the cameras into the moments when the bravado drops; when she is vulnerable, exhausted, hopeful and trying to make sense of everything happening around her’.

The synopsis explains: “When filming begins, Gemma and her partner Rami are preparing for their wedding and hoping to start a family. But as the year unfolds, their plans are tested by circumstances they could never have anticipated.

Gemma Collins has let the cameras into her life for a new emotional documentary (Sky TV)

“Rami faces his own challenges, which put new pressures on their relationship, and their hopes of starting a family lead them into the deeply personal and emotional world of fertility.

“As Gemma embarks on her fertility journey, questions and worries begin to set in. Having spent so much of her life putting her career first, has she left it too late

to have the family she has always wanted?”

It continues: “Alongside this, Gemma is caring for the people closest to her and trying to support those around her, all while navigating life in the public eye and balancing a busy career that she

loves.

"Later in the year, she’s faced with the devastating loss of her mum, adding another profound and deeply personal chapter to a year that has already tested her in ways she never expected.”

Gemma announced the heartbreaking passing of her mum, Joan, on July 29 of this year, sharing that she’d died aged 70 following a battle with pneumonia.

In a new Sky Q&A ahead of the documentary release, the TOWIE star emotionally lifted the lid on what it was like to care for her mum before she passed.

Gemma said that as well as her mum passing away during filming, her fiancé Rami had also been ‘struggling with his mental health and using alcohol to cope, and on top of that we had fertility issues’.

"I’d have done anything to take the pain away for her"

Gemma's mum Joan died in July, aged 70 (Karwai Tang/Getty Images)

She revealed that she ‘barely left the house,’ and felt like she was ‘drowning’ in what the reality star described as the ‘worst year of my life’.

Gemma told the outlet: “I was angry that she was suffering, and I’d have done anything to take the pain away for her.

“Obviously, I'd love my mum to still be here now, but I try and flip it into a positive and go, “I got forty-five years with her.” I did everything she wanted in her last years. I got a frozen shoulder pushing her around the shops in the wheelchair. I’m not sitting here thinking, ‘I wish I’d spent more time with her’, which would be worse. I did it all.”

She added: “I lived at home till I was thirty. I spent every day with my mum in one way or another. We spoke one hundred times a day.

“It’s weird because as much as it’s sad, there’s also a feeling of relief that she’s not suffering any more. But I have to work out who I am now, without her here telling me off!

“My mum passed away peacefully, and we were all in the room. She's come back to me in so many ways already, which gives me great comfort. “

Gemma gushed that she’s ‘pleased’ her mum is in the show as it’s ‘a lovely tribute to her’.

"I put my mum before all of that, and I'm happy that I did"

She also spoke out about putting marriage and babies to the side while she prioritised her mum’s health.

“Most people get married young and have kids, but I put my mum before all of that, and I'm happy that I did,” Gemma said.

She explained: “Rami and I went to the Portland, and I started thinking maybe there could be a miracle. We could get an egg donor and make it work. But, as you’ll see on the show, it got increasingly difficult.

“I understand why couples break up from it, because it’s really challenging. It's not just getting an egg from someone and getting on with your life.”

Speaking about the possibility of motherhood, Gemma, who is step-mum to Rami’s son Tristan, concluded: “If it’s meant to happen, my mum will send it to me, and a miracle will happen. If it doesn’t, I’m at peace with that.

“Maybe those feelings will start creeping back in, and maybe it will feel like the right time. One thing

“I’ve learned is that sometimes you have to be happy with what you've got and make the best of it.”

Sky Original reality series Gemma Collins. Everything. All At Once. launches 15 September on Sky and streaming service NOW.

If you are worried about infertility, you can visit the NHS site for more information here. Or for free, impartial support, call Fertility Network UK on 0121 323 5025 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, or 07816 086694 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, between 10am and 4pm.