Featured Image Credit: SWNS
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life
Lucy Devine
A woman has revealed why she decided to stay celibate for a year.
Brenda Osorno, 30, from Miami, explained that prior to celibacy, she would often have sex once a week.
But for the whole of 2022, Brenda abstained from sex in order to concentrate on her own wellbeing. You can see Brenda discussing her decision below:
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“I had gotten tired of the hookup culture that exists among a lot of people in their 20s," Brenda said.
“I used to be a serial online dater. I was working long hours, so dating was my outlet. But outside of my job and dating I didn’t really have a sense of my identity.”
Prior to her time being celibate, Brenda had gone on up to three dates a week and said she had a rotation of two or three 'special friends' who she would sleep with once a week.
After breaking up with a guy who was unwilling to commit to a more serious relationship, Brenda decided to give celibacy a go, and instead of dating new people, she filled her time by trying out a new activity every day for a month.
Whether it was boxing, pole dancing, cycling, basketball or even stand up comedy, as she threw herself into new activities, she said the months started to 'fly by'.
“Celibacy gave me the confidence to try new things, and the new hobbies I have discovered have given me a renewed sense of identity," she explained.
“It was a month until my 30th birthday, so I decided to commit myself to trying something new every day and seeing what’s out there beyond dating.
“After my birthday, I felt great so I just kept going. I started filling my schedule with activities rather than thinking about dating - it was a form of self-therapy.
“I carried on working out and started connecting with other women online who were doing the same thing, and the time started to fly by.
“Once I’d made it to six months without having sex, I thought, ‘wow - this is the same girl who used to go on two to three dates a week!’"
Brenda said the stint was 'very difficult' at times and would occasionally lead to sleepless nights, but she claimed going without sex has helped her to grow in confidence and discover a sense of her own identity.
“By taking care of myself and remaining celibate, I started to work out what I wanted to do with my life. I realised that I used to go on dates to validate myself," she said.
“Celibacy gave me the confidence to try new things, and the new hobbies I have discovered have given me a sense of identity.
“When I’m in a relationship I have a tendency to let myself go and become completely wrapped up in the other person. But going celibate made me feel like no one could hold me back. Now I don’t have to answer to anyone other than myself and my mom.”
One year on and Brenda says she would definitely recommend it for other people.
“I think more people should try celibacy. You don’t need to go a full year, but it’s nice to try to restrict yourself,” she said.