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Psychologist discusses how elements of BDSM can improve your sex life

Emma Guinness

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| Last updated 

Psychologist discusses how elements of BDSM can improve your sex life

Featured Image Credit: BDSM / Alamy Stock Photo Mirko Macari / Alamy Stock Photo

It's no secret that getting down and dirty can get a little boring after time, and if you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, there's evidence that BDSM could be the answer.

This is because psychologists have explained how elements of BDSM - that's bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadochism and masochism - can improve your sex life.

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The psychologist explained that BDSM's core principles of good communication can benefit even the most vanilla couples and help them to improve their love lives overall - regardless of what they think of chains and whips.

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It was this emphasis on communication that saw the Journal of Sexual Medicine find that people who engage in BDSM are 'less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection-sensitive, and had higher subjective well-being'.

Good communication could therefore simply involve giving your partner a safe space to open up about their deepest desires and fantasies.

Or it could encourage you to view sex more as fun, instead of a potentially repetitive sounding acts, and 'play'.

'Play' is an umbrella term in the world of kink, which reflects the fact that practitioners often see sex as a way to not only have fun, but use their creativity and brains.

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Vanilla couples can learn a lot from the BDSM world. Credit: Alamy / Sharidan
Vanilla couples can learn a lot from the BDSM world. Credit: Alamy / Sharidan

The New School Psychology Bulletin also added that another key principal of BDSM that can help couples is its emphasis on consent, which is the foundation of all interactions in the community - even hugs.

The psychologist explained that consent in a mainstream context can be much more vague, as people are sometimes simply told that they need a yes or a no for sex.

They explained that BDSM practitioners have more indicators of consent than those outside the community, often having clear discussions before a 'scene' - which is a planned sexual interaction.

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As well as verbal, or some cases, written consent, those in the BDSM community rely on body queues, occasional written consent, and safe words, which are all agreed on in advance.

This is why adopting this more explicit approach from the BDSM world could help you and your partner feel safer and more willing to explore.

Rethinking consent can improve your sex life too. Credit: Alamy / BDSM
Rethinking consent can improve your sex life too. Credit: Alamy / BDSM

In a nutshell, there's a lot people can learn from the BDSM world without ever picking up a whip or a pair of handcuffs themselves.

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The benefits of adopting these core principles could be huge too, with research finding that BDSM practitioners are generally more sexually satisfied overall.

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Emma Guinness
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