Topics: Parenting, Politics, Sex and Relationships, Michelle Obama
Michelle Obama has had a surprisingly candid chat about the realities of going through fertility struggles in a new interview.
The former first lady has recalled about what IVF involved, and how brutal it was for her to go through in comparison to her husband, Barack Obama.
Michelle appeared on The Diary Of A CEO podcast and talked about how unfair the IVF process is for women rather than men.
Michelle opened up about using IVF to conceive her daughters back in 2018 when she wrote a book, called Becoming.
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She revealed that she had a miscarriage and used in vitro fertilisation to conceive her daughters, Malia and Sasha.
Malia was born in 1998, while Sasha was born in 2001.
Michelle said she was 34-years-old when she realised they were going to have issues, with them then making the decision to undergo IVF.
Talking to host Steven Bartlett, she said people need to be more open about things: "We don't talk about our bodies and women's health, and there's just not a lot of conversation about marriage or pregnancy or any of this. Our parents just didn't talk about it."
She went on: "Their parents before them didn't talk about it. So you're waiting, you're checking boxes, I delayed having kids, I found the love of my life and now I'm going to get pregnant.
"No-one tells you that there really is a biological clock, that's not false! Women are born with a finite set of eggs, we don't get anymore and every month we're losing them. There's a period of time, usually in your 30s, where you go from fertile to not and it's like falling off a cliff.
"I was like, 'why aren't people talking about this?' By the time we really started trying which worked perfectly for our careers and maturing and having everything set."
"As a woman you're carrying around this blow, owning the blow as if it's your fault and so you're carrying that burden."
"That can become the first pressure point in the marriage, the woman is walking around feeling like a failure, not having anyone to talk to about her hormones going up and down, probably dealing with depression."
"She's carrying it all on her own, then if you do IVF the bulk of the work, all the shots, we are the petri dish in the process."
Men, on the other hand, have a very different experience.
"You [men] show up, you c*m in a cup," she said, quipping: "Oh yay, good for you!
"You're a little mad about that too, because women have to have shots every week, and you have to go back and forth between having your high powered job and keeping it all together."
"You're at the doctor's office every month trying to count your eggs and hoping that you're producing eggs, and then you have to go through the procedure and then you're pregnant for nine months as your partner is going to the gym and keeping his figure."
"It's a long way of saying there are many reasons why marriage infertility, trying to have kids makes things difficult," she finished.
"I try to tell couples, of course it's hard to listen to but if you're having troubles it's totally normal."
She also told ABC: "And I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama, who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other, we work on our marriage.
"And we get help with our marriage when we need it."
