End of life nurse reveals little-known sign someone is dying that's ‘nothing to be afraid of'

For some of us, talking about death is a subject to be avoided at all costs.

However, it's clear that while many people make an effort to not pay too much mind to what actually happens when we pass away - others are definitely far more intrigued by the somewhat morbid yet inevitable process.

So, to help demystify the dying process, an end of life nurse has revealed the little-known sign that someone is dying that's 'nothing to be afraid of'.

Tyla sat down with hospice nurse and New York Times bestselling author of the book Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully, Julie McFadden, to learn a little more about what the process looks like leading up to a terminal patient taking their last breaths.

Julie, who goes by the handle @hospicenursejulie online, regularly posts on social media in a hopes of alleviating 'fear and stigma around death'.

Instead, she makes an active effort to break down the barriers when it comes to discussing death, the signs that come before and exactly what happens after.

The hospice nurse noted a handful of warning signs that could indicate a person is near to death, including phenomena known as the 'death stare', the 'death surge', the 'death reach', 'visioning', 'terminal agitation' and a slightly more scary-sounding one known as the 'death rattle'.

Sharing her experience with the 'death rattle', Julie explained to Tyla a little more about what 'active dying' actually looks like.

"This is the part of death where most people think their loved one is suffering because they're not used to seeing it, but they're fully unconscious, so they're not waking up," Julie said.

She added that the terminal patient's eyes and mouth are 'usually open' which may make them look in a 'bad' way.

"People are like, 'Yikes. Why are they like this?'" Julie continued before noting that while the patient's eyes may be open, they won't make eye contact so it appears as if 'no one's home'.

She carried on: "So it can look a little creepy but that's happening because all of the muscles that it takes for you to close your eyes and close your mouth are all relaxed, so everything hangs open.

"They'll have changes in breathing, so they're not going to breathe like you and I, and people will see that and think their loved one is struggling to breathe, or that they're like suffocating, and that is not what's happening."

Explaining that this is totally natural and nothing to be scared of, Julie explained: "Some of the breaths will look like they're literally gasping for air, but that is not what's going on."

Instead, the 'death rattle' happens because we have a metabolic system in our blood chemistry that works together to make us 'breathe normal'.

However, at the end of life, that starts changing and it changes how we breathe, which Julie says is 'like a metabolic response'.

"But no one knows that, so they think their loved one is gasping for air, which is not true," she adds.

Julie explained that this 'death rattle' is actually called terminal secretions.

She told Tyla: "It's like a gurgling noise.

"That's just a little bit of saliva that's basically in the back of their mouth that the breath is going over with their mouth open, so it's causing this gurgling noise. "People often think their loved ones are drowning on fluids, but they are not - it's very normal and very to be expected."

You can find out more about Julie and her book on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube.

If you have experienced a bereavement and would like to speak with someone in confidence, contact Cruse Bereavement Care via their national helpline on 0808 808 1677.