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Topics: Crime, True Crime, UK News, Sex and Relationships
Rhianna Benson
Topics: Crime, True Crime, UK News, Sex and Relationships
Warning: This article contains discussion of domestic violence which some readers may find distressing.
Lauren Kilgariff had no idea of the vicious true nature of the man she'd fallen in love with until they'd officially tied the knot.
Now, having survived one of the UK's most harrowing cases of domestic abuse in recent years, the 29-year-old is warning other victims trapped in similar circumstances that their sadistic partners will 'never change' after her husband Shaun Kilgariff was spared from jail when she eventually spoke out.
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The couple met online back in 2017 after he added her as a friend on Facebook, with the pair having previously attended the same school and sharing mutual friends.
They soon met up and - according to Lauren - there were times during their relationships' early days that he'd treat her 'like a princess', but she found that there was 'always a catch' and that he had anger issues.
"He’s a narcissist, he’s a bully and he’ll blame it on you," she told StokeOnTrentLive.
Day by day, Kilgariff, 31, became increasingly more agitated and his anger soon developed into physical violence.
Weekends were the worst, Lauren said, as Kilgariff's mood rapidly deteriorated when he'd had a drink.
"In front of people, he was this fantastic person, everything was great, he loved us. But behind closed doors, he was different," she explained.
"He didn't like my family coming over, he always just wanted it to be us. He was a bully, he is a bully. He got worse, especially with the drinking. When he drank it was worse.
"He got drunk every weekend. We dreaded the weekends because we knew what was coming."
Last year, Lauren wed Kilgariff in Cyprus despite her reservations.
"When we got married I thought it would change," she said.
"He said he would do these courses and you think ‘Great, he’s going to change’ but he didn’t and he’s not going to. He did change, but for the worse.
"He had to have control of everything. I ended up staying upstairs all the time. I never thought he was ever going to hit me."
Four months after getting married, the couple were embroiled in a heated row at their home in Burslem, with Lauren throwing a glass at a wall before he smashed his head against hers, rendering her unconscious.
She remembered waking up some time later with a pain in her beck and blood streaming down her face.
Kilgariff - who had no prior convictions - pled guilty to assault occasioning actual bodily harm, being sentenced to 24 weeks in prison, suspended for 18 months, at North Staffordshire Justice Centre.
He was also been ordered to complete a rehabilitation activity requirement for 25 days and a Building Better Relationships programme, as well as pay £1,000 compensation, £185 costs and a £154 surcharge.
A restraining order against him was also implemented, stopping him from having any contact with Lauren for 18 months.
"I’m still hurting. I still love him, because you can’t stop love. I’ve got that trauma bond with him," she said.
"At first I wanted him back, I wanted my husband back, but over time I thought to myself, ‘No, I can’t keep torturing myself like this anymore’. I always used to say to him that he needs to stop before it’s too late, and obviously now it is too late.
"He could have killed me. I want people to see what he’s done."
She continued to say: "A lot of men think in their heads that they can control women, and they can't.
"Shaun had to have control of everything. The only thing he couldn’t control was me."
If you are experiencing domestic violence, you can talk in confidence 24 hours a day to the National Domestic Violence helpline Refuge on 0808 2000 247.