A woman has revealed why she decided to avoid cooking for her brother’s stepdaughter, who has dietary restrictions, much to the praise of the online community.
The woman, 27, shared her reasoning on Reddit's infamous Am I The A**hole thread, explaining how her brother, 25, is married to a woman, 34, who has a nine-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
The daughter has ‘several health conditions’, which includes a ‘severe dairy allergy’ that requires her to carry an epipen, and celiac.
The Reddit poster explained how she hosted a dinner at her house to celebrate her parents’ wedding anniversary, with her brother, his partner, his stepchild and four other close family friends.
Advert
“I made a fancy five-course dinner,” she wrote, before adding how she made special arrangements with a local restaurant to ensure the little girl had food that would meet her requirements.
She said: “Because of Becca's food restrictions, I found a restaurant in town that specializes in gluten-free, dairy-free (as well as other allergen-free) food, and arranged for them to make a full meal for Becca that I could pick up in advance of the party."
She continued: “I have made a variety of speciality meals in the past (for example, keto meals when my friend was following that diet) and I like the challenge, but knowing how serious [the girl’s] restrictions were, I didn't trust myself to make her meal.
Advert
“I have ADHD and get easily distracted, and if I even used the wrong spoon or didn't completely wash some flour off a bowl, it could make her incredibly sick.
Although the girl seemed to enjoy her food, her mum apparently looked at the food with a ‘stony face’.
The woman’s brother asked to speak with her in the kitchen, with her explaining: “When we got there he said that it was ‘unbelievable’ that I couldn't be bothered to make something for [the girl], that they'd been bragging about what a great cook I am to her, and that he knew I'd made keto, vegan, and other complicated kinds of food in the past; now she would feel left out because she didn't get to eat what the rest of the family was eating.
Advert
“He said that it was obvious that I didn't care about making his stepdaughter feel like a part of the family, and that they were leaving.”
The woman asked Reddit if she ‘should have tried harder to make [the girl] feel included’ but most people said she was actually in the right.
In a comment, which received over 50,000 upvotes, a Reddit user shared: “For some reason, I read that and felt sad for you.
“I’m honestly in disbelief you thought you did something wrong. You were incredibly thoughtful in how you handled ensuring she had a meal suitable for her.
Advert
“You have ADHD and are well aware that mistakes are so easily made so to ensure you didn’t seriously put this child’s health in danger, you decided the safest option was to contact a restaurant to provide something.
“I can’t stress this enough, YOU ARE NTA.”
Another Reddit user understood the woman’s decision and wrote: “If someone had gone to the trouble of making sure my child didn't have a reaction to dinner, I would have been grateful, not upset. I don't have ADHD, but if I didn't cook for someone with allergies on a regular basis, I definitely would forget something!!
Advert
"You are most definitely NTA, & it's sad they couldn't appreciate your effort.”
While a third penned: “Exactly this. Keto, vegan, and veggie are dietary choices, not dietary restrictions (except in the case of keto for people with refractory epilepsy).
"Given the apparent severity of the stepdaughters reactions, they should have been thanking OP for taking such precautions and taking SD’s health and safety seriously. Big NTA.”
Topics: Food and Drink, Life, Parenting, Health
Gregory Robinson