Woman who lived as trans man for 17 years detransitioned and became a mum
A woman who lived as a transgender man for 17 years detransitioned and became a mum, saying she now feels more comfortable in her 'femininity'.
Maddy Edwards said she knew she was ‘different’ from the age of five, and would pray she’d wake up as a boy, having grown more comfortable in boys’ clothing as she grew up.
It wasn’t until nine years later when she was 14 that Maddy heard of the term ‘transgender’, having had a traditional Christian upbringing.
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At 19, she cut her hair, started taking testosterone and went by the name of Matthew, also ending the relationship she had with her parents.
Three years later, she became engaged to a woman and was seriously thinking about medically transitioning, with plans to have top surgery – a procedure where doctors remove breast tissue.
But in December 2020, Maddy claims she heard the voice of God telling her that he had love for her ‘if only she would stop running from it’.
This radically transformed the course of her life, spurring her on to accept the way ‘God designed her’.
She broke up with her partner and also reconnected with her family following the death of a loved one.
Maddy now has a child of her own, saying becoming a mum was something she never previously saw for herself.
The army ammunition plant worker, from Lawton, Oklahoma, US, said: "I had never liked being a female or felt it was who I was supposed to be.
"I thought I was meant to be a man. I never would have thought in a hundred years I would ever accept myself as a female.
"When I experienced how much love God had for me, it overflowed into self-love. I was able to accept myself exactly the way he created me [as a female].
"At the start, it was weird to be called a girl and hear people call me Maddy. Anytime anyone said Matt or Matty, I'd turn around. I'd dissociated myself from that identity for so long.
"I'm now becoming more comfortable in my femininity.
"I'm a mum to a little girl, it's the coolest thing ever. I never saw myself becoming a mum. I always wanted to be a parent and a dad. I wanted to be a dad so bad, but I never pictured myself as a mum.
"It's so amazing."
Maddy said her eyes were ‘opened’ when she ‘heard the voice of God’ speaking to her in January 2021.
She continued: "There were a lot of hugs and crying. It wasn't sad though, I had this joy. My fiancée was really understanding.
"I didn't think 'this a sinful thing and you'll go to hell', I just didn't find it appealing anymore.
"I knew God had so much better plans for me and her, it wasn't how he designed us to be."
Maddy said she always felt different as both a child and teenager, fully believing she was meant to be a man – especially due to the discomfort she went through while growing breasts during puberty.
"I fully believed a boy was who I was supposed to be,” she said.
"It was only when I was 13 or 14 though that I actually learned the word transgender. I thought 'wow this makes so much sense'.
"I was looking at videos on YouTube of born females taking testosterone and getting top surgery to be transgender, and thought 'oh that's why I'm uncomfortable with my chest'.
"I was dressing as a guy - putting my hair up in a beanie, trying to be this guy I thought I was. I felt a lot of euphoria doing it. I thought 'this has to be right'."
While it’s taken time for Maddy to want to embrace her born gender, she now embraces her feminine identity and role as a mother.
"Feeling like you are transgender is very real and I'm never going to say it isn't real,” she added.
"When I lived my life like that, I really felt that way."
Adam Hamdani