Dating is a minefield now more than ever before, and there’s certain things that maybe aren’t considered red flags when they should be.
The things about dating trends is that they are always changing, and something innocent suddenly takes on a new meaning a few years down the road.
That’s why a Millennial is sharing her red flag on a date which can signify to other generations that they should avoid at all costs.
Advert
But this dating trend that’s a red flag might surprise you.
Taking to Reddit, one woman asked the community about what they think about paying on a date and explained that she’s noticed a shift in dynamics when it comes to women and men paying for the bill.
She said: “I'm (42F) married, so this doesn't apply to me, but I'm noticing certain trends from Reddit and TikTok that I'd like to ask my fellow millennials' opinion on. There seems to be a shift towards the idea that women should not expect men to pay for dates. Like ever.
Advert
“My personal philosophy has always been whoever asks the other one out should pay. And then if the relationship kicks off, they should share that responsibility as time goes on.
“But who's actually out there asking people out and then getting pissed because they're expected to pay? I don't really understand this.”
The woman went on to say that she expects the person who planned the date to be the payer, regardless if it’s a man or women and doesn’t understand when men get angry that a woman expects them to pay if they asked her out in the first place.
Advert
She said: “That's like inviting someone to a wedding and then expecting them to pay for their own dinner. Everyone would be pissed in that case, and rightfully so. I think it applies here too.”
But is she right?
According to the comments, she might be.
Loads of people piled on to talk about a time they, asked to go for a coffee date instead of a lavish dinner as to keep the costs minimal, but were then given flack for not expecting to be wined and dined.
Advert
One person explained their own horror date: "I’ve found that most women I’ve gone out with have offered to split costs but when the bill comes I usually offer to pay all of it. I don’t mind paying and I don’t mind if they want to pay and are adamant to do so.
"What has shocked and bothered me is a small percentage expecting a lavish first date on my dime. As a rule I don’t spend more than a coffee or couple drinks on a first date while you are evaluating whether this is someone you’d like to get to know further as a potential partner.
"If it’s going well and we decide to extend the date then sure, grab some food, play a round of mini golf or plan a second date for something more than just coffee or drink."
Advert
Another said: “This is funny to me because I as a woman who suggested coffee or something simple, have been accused of wasting his time. Some people are always going to be unhappy.”
Someone else agreed, sharing that a man she was dating ghosted her because she suggested a coffee date instead of an expensive meal as he believed he’d ‘get no action’ on a simple café date.
Another shared how she’s a fan of sharing the cost: “I'm an elder millennial woman, now married, but when I was single I would split the cost of early dates. If things progressed, we'd start taking turns paying. Now that I'm married I pay for most dates because we have a large income gap.”
Someone else found the prospect of bill sharing awkward: “I don’t really want to get stuck in a first date where I can’t leave soon if I want to. Things like lunch, drinks and apps, coffee, are low pressure and not that expensive. I think it’s nice for the guy to offer to pay but I don’t expect him to and usually insist on splitting the bill on the first date. I don’t want to feel like I owe a stranger anything.”
Maybe we should just all pay for ourselves from now on and expect nothing but the meal and company in return.
Topics: Dating, Dating trends, Sex and Relationships, Reddit
Britt Jones