Sex expert warns over ‘toxic’ habit that’s an ‘instant bedroom turn off’
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Dating, Advice
Rhiannon Ingle
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Dating, Advice
There are a whole bunch of things that can turn us off when it comes to getting down and dirty.
From bad breath and unclean sheets to cringe dirty talk and way too little foreplay - it's clear a whole lot can go wrong in the sack.
But there's apparently one super 'toxic' habit I'm sure many people are guilty of that one sex expert has warned as being an 'instant bedroom turn off'.
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Nadia Bodoky, a sexpert from Down Under, has revealed that heaps of peeps have a tendency to go into a 'mode' during intimate moments that, for want of a better word, is a total buzz kill.
Nadia herself isn't exempt from the toxic trait, as she found herself even doing whilst away on a romantic getaway with her girlfriend.
During the trip, the expert ended up asking questions about her girlfriend's ex-partner - something which is apparently a majo no-no.
It seems fairly common to compare oneself to your current lover's former flame and their sex life which Nadia coined as going into 'Sexual Comparison Mode' or SCM for short.
"I've stumbled into Sexual Comparison Mode (SCM); a toxic practice most of us have been guilty of, involving comparing ourselves to a significant other's past sexual partner," she explained in an article for news.com.au.
"It's rooted in insecurity and an innate, albeit narcissistic, need to know we take the cake - that, as far as lovers go, we're the best our bae has ever had."
According to a survey conducted by Elite Singles, around 30 percent of women and 21 percent of men compare their current partner's bedroom performance with an ex.
Nadia warned: "Regardless, there are few things more destructive to your bond (and in turn, your sex life) than indulging in SCM."
The expert also reached out to psychosexual therapist, Christopher Brett-Renes, who warned about the period of comparing yourself to your partner's past affairs.
"Going into comparison mode isn't going to turn on your sexual partner," he outlined. "If anything, it will push them away or cause an argument."
Christopher also noted that it could be harmful to question your partner about what their ex was like in bed.
If you find yourself feeling a tad insecure, it's probably best to open up an honest conversation between yourself and your partner to try and resolve these unwanted feelings - instead of going straight for the jugular and not just causing a rift in the bedroom but in your wider relationship as well.