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Sex expert warns over ‘toxic’ habit that’s an ‘instant bedroom turn off’

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Published 17:31 13 Aug 2024 GMT+1

Sex expert warns over ‘toxic’ habit that’s an ‘instant bedroom turn off’

You may be guilty of doing this without even knowing it

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle

There are a whole bunch of things that can turn us off when it comes to getting down and dirty.

From bad breath and unclean sheets to cringe dirty talk and way too little foreplay - it's clear a whole lot can go wrong in the sack.

But there's apparently one super 'toxic' habit I'm sure many people are guilty of that one sex expert has warned as being an 'instant bedroom turn off'.

You may be guilty of this 'toxic' bedroom habit. (The Good Brigade / Getty Images)
You may be guilty of this 'toxic' bedroom habit. (The Good Brigade / Getty Images)

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Nadia Bodoky, a sexpert from Down Under, has revealed that heaps of peeps have a tendency to go into a 'mode' during intimate moments that, for want of a better word, is a total buzz kill.

Nadia herself isn't exempt from the toxic trait, as she found herself even doing whilst away on a romantic getaway with her girlfriend.

During the trip, the expert ended up asking questions about her girlfriend's ex-partner - something which is apparently a majo no-no.

It seems fairly common to compare oneself to your current lover's former flame and their sex life which Nadia coined as going into 'Sexual Comparison Mode' or SCM for short.

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The expert coined the term 'Sexual Comparison Mode' or SCM for short. (filadendron / Getty Images)
The expert coined the term 'Sexual Comparison Mode' or SCM for short. (filadendron / Getty Images)

"I've stumbled into Sexual Comparison Mode (SCM); a toxic practice most of us have been guilty of, involving comparing ourselves to a significant other's past sexual partner," she explained in an article for news.com.au.

"It's rooted in insecurity and an innate, albeit narcissistic, need to know we take the cake - that, as far as lovers go, we're the best our bae has ever had."

According to a survey conducted by Elite Singles, around 30 percent of women and 21 percent of men compare their current partner's bedroom performance with an ex.

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Nadia warned: "Regardless, there are few things more destructive to your bond (and in turn, your sex life) than indulging in SCM."

An open and honest conversation is probably a better bet than comparing yourself to your partner's exes in the sack. (PeopleImages / Getty Images)
An open and honest conversation is probably a better bet than comparing yourself to your partner's exes in the sack. (PeopleImages / Getty Images)

The expert also reached out to psychosexual therapist, Christopher Brett-Renes, who warned about the period of comparing yourself to your partner's past affairs.

"Going into comparison mode isn't going to turn on your sexual partner," he outlined. "If anything, it will push them away or cause an argument."

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Christopher also noted that it could be harmful to question your partner about what their ex was like in bed.

If you find yourself feeling a tad insecure, it's probably best to open up an honest conversation between yourself and your partner to try and resolve these unwanted feelings - instead of going straight for the jugular and not just causing a rift in the bedroom but in your wider relationship as well.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Dating, Advice

Rhiannon Ingle
Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Senior Journalist at Tyla, specialising in TV, film, travel, and culture. A graduate of the University of Manchester with a degree in English Literature, she honed her editorial skills as the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the UK’s largest student newspaper. With a keen eye for storytelling, Rhiannon brings fresh perspectives to her writing, blending critical insight with an engaging style. Her work captures the intersection of entertainment and real-world experiences.

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