Dad who lost his 14-year-old son at sea reveals one thing he still does 10 years on
A dad who tragically lost his son while out at sea has revealed what he continues to do in the decade since his death.
Phil Cohen is the proud father of his 14-year-old son, Perry, who disappeared at sea on 24 July, 2015.
The innocent boating trip began with Perry and his 14-year-old friend Austin Stephanos, who left the coast of Florida to fish in the Atlantic Ocean.
Sadly, the pair were last seen leaving the Jib Yacht Club and Marina in Jupiter Inlet Colony on the boat and when they did not reappear a day later, they were reported missing.
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A search was launched, covering 50,000 square nautical miles from Jupiter to the North Carolina coast, one of the most extensive searches ever undertaken in US Coast Guard history.
Sadly, the search revealed the boy’s boat had capsized off the coast of Bermuda, but they were nowhere to be seen, and the search was called off after seven days.
For Cohen, there were a lot of unanswered questions surrounding his son’s disappearance, making it that much harder to come to terms with.
In an interview with PEOPLE, he said: "When things like this happen, your brain has to make some kind of story. I didn't know. Did he get hit in the head when the boat flipped over and just drown right there?... Did he float until he couldn't anymore? Did he suffer? Did he get eaten by a shark?"
"For a parent to have to even think about their child in any of these scenarios is ridiculous," he added.
However, when his older brother Rich suggested they go into the ocean two weeks after Perry’s disappearance, it proved to be the catalyst which helped him through.
He explained how he had been lying on his sofa, crying, when he heard his son’s voice loud and clear telling him: “Come on. Don't be like that. Just stop.”
With that message, he took to the ocean that swallowed his son and a wave of relief washed over him.
"I actually felt better going through that... This whole grief thing, you can't outrun it," he said as the ‘monster gets smaller’ when you face it head on.
His grief had already taken so much from him, causing him to lose friends and family who told him it was ‘too sad’ to be around him. But through it all, he found strength in keeping Perry alive through little nods each day.
Speaking in a TikTok video on his account @philthegriefguy, he explained what he does, such as making sure to say Perry’s name.
"If something comes up and I'll mention Perry's name, I do it for me. I don't do it for anybody else," he said. "Sometimes people get awkward, but now the people who know me and love me are cool with it. They'll ask me about it."
Sharing memories of him and stories also helps him to stay connected to his son a decade on. For example, baseball is one of his ‘fondest memories’ with his son, as he enjoyed the sport when he was young.
Cohen recalled: "A couple of years I was coaching the team, and there was a park not too far from where I lived in Florida. Bottom of the night thinning. We were down by two runs, playing against the rival team It was like one of those games where all the parents are standing on their feet.
"Perry gets up to the plate, and I could totally picture him digging in and standing there looking at the pitcher and smacks the home run. The whole place erupts. I'm standing off to the side, not behind home plate... and his whole team's standing around home plate."
"Like ESPN, I expect Harry to jump into this pile of high-fives and cheers — but he didn't," he recalls, choking up. "He ran past all of them and jumped into my arms, and I remember thinking ... 'Oh, man'."
He said he could ‘still feel’ the hug from his son.
Britt Jones