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Mum left distraught after trying to let baby cry himself to sleep

Mum left distraught after trying to let baby cry himself to sleep

A mum has took to Reddit to explain how controlled crying at bedtime has left her distraught.

There is certainly no rule book for all this parenting malarkey - which is perhaps evident with the amount of parents heading to online forums for advice and being provided with differing opinions.

And one mum has opened up on the 'Parenting' Reddit forum to ask for advice on new method to get her seven-month-old son to sleep every evening, something that leaves the mum sobbing as much of the baby.

But first, the mum provided a bit of a back story, as she explained: "He has a solid bedtime routine which starts soon after his last bottle when he starts giving me indicators that he's tired.

"After his bedtime routine I pop him in his next to me. Until a couple of weeks ago I would lay on the bed, stroke his back and shh him to sleep.

The bedtime routine has been switched up.

"He would grumble but usually fall asleep within 10-15 mins after which we don't hear from him till 7/8 am.

"My husband said I’m not really teaching him to fall asleep by himself, and I thought he had a good point."

So the couple decided to try out controlled crying, which essentially involves letting the baby cry for set periods of time until they essentially tires themselves out to the point where they fall asleep.

However, this mum's child was having no of it, as he screams until his mum comes in to soothe him.

He would calm down during that period of time, until she left the room once more, and then 'cue the screaming'.

As a result of the continuous crying, the mum found it unbearable, as any parents seeing their children in distress would.

"I do make sure that when I return to soothe him, I am composed – he has no idea I’m sitting on the stairs silently sobbing as much as he is," the mum admitted.

As a result, she has begun to question whether it is beneficial to see parents let their children cry it out.

The mum admits to sobbing as much as her baby.

She added: "I can’t stand the idea that he’s crying for me and is feeling ignored.

"He’s seven months old, popular theory says that until six months he didn’t even realise he was a separate entity from me, and I’m expecting him to settle himself alone in the dark??"

The mum said that she's not convinced that he's 'actually learning to fall asleep himself' but rather crying himself into exhaustion, and that she has plans to gently 'reduce the support' which she was aware 'would take months'.

"I'm hoping that someone here can convince me that screaming until he passes out is actually teaching him to fall asleep on his own?" she concluded.

And many agreed with her, with one person saying: "If it takes 10-15 minutes of back rubbing and he sleeps all night that sounds pretty dang good to me.

"Like if it ain't broke why fix it?"

While another said she had the 'dream night routine' and a third said they didn't understand 'why we expect babies to just soothe themselves so young'.

Featured Image Credit: Vera Livchak/damircudic/Getty Images

Topics: Parenting, Reddit, Sleep