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Parenting expert says parents should never high-five their children

Home> Life

Published 15:18 7 Oct 2022 GMT+1

Parenting expert says parents should never high-five their children

He claims it will teach little ones not to respect their elders

Claire Reid

Claire Reid

A parenting expert has said adults should never high-five children and it's for a reason many wouldn't expect.

Yep, while you or I may not think twice about giving a quick high-five to a younger relative as a greeting or a way to say ‘well done’ - one expert says it should be ‘reserved for individuals of equal, or fairly equal, status’, and not for little ones.

Author John Rosemond, who writes a weekly parenting column and has written several books about children and parenting, claimed that a high-five is a 'gesture of familiarity, to be exchanged between equals', meaning it's not acceptable for adults to high-five kids as it 'teaches them to have a lack of respect towards their elders'.

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In his latest column he wrote: “I will not slap the upraised palm of a person who is not my peer, and a peer is someone over age 21, emancipated, employed, and paying their own way.

An expert has warned parents not to high-five their kids.
Tetra Images, LLC/Alamy Stock Photo

“It is to be reserved for individuals of equal, or fairly equal, status. It is good for children to view responsible adults as people who exist in a higher plane.”

He went on to say that if you are the type of parent who regularly high-fives their kids then you shouldn’t ‘wonder why’ your little one ‘talks to you as if you are his equal’. 

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That is quite an interesting take, John, I have to say. 

And it’s not just high-fives John took aim at, he went on to say that children should never be allowed to call adults by their first name; sleep in the same bed as their parents; or have ‘free access to money’.

He went on: “Children should know their place. Adults should know their place.

“The more adults and children commingle as if they are equals, the more problematic become their relationships.”

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A screenshot of his article made its way onto Twitter where one user branded it the ‘weirdest thing’ they’d ever seen. 

One person wrote: “Gonna high-five my kid excessively today. Mostly because it's fun, but also because I actually do respect them as an equal in personhood, even if they still have a lot to learn.”

Someone else said: “My grandsons, almost two, have high-fived since they could physically coordinate it. It’s just a fun, non-verbal way that they can acknowledge a compliment, show agreement with something. I’m not getting how this is disrespectful or demeaning to an adult.” 

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While a fourth joked: “My 1.5 year old high fives us and I think it’s adorable, but I guess John has enlightened me that I’ve actually broken her. Dang it!”

Featured Image Credit: Laura Dwight/stillbeyou/Alamy Stock Photo

Topics: Parenting, Life

Claire Reid
Claire Reid

Claire is a journalist at Tyla who, after dossing around for a few years, went to Liverpool John Moores University. She graduated with a degree in Journalism and a whole load of debt. When not writing words in exchange for money she is usually at home watching serial killer documentaries surrounded by cats.

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