Jake Massey
A mum has shared the Christmas decorations and snacks she won't allow in her house because she's a 'scarred mortician'.
Lauren Eliza has amassed more than 850,000 followers on TikTok, where she shares insights from her macabre profession in a bid to normalise death.
But just because she wants to normalise death doesn't mean she wants to encourage it, and given the things she's seen, she errs on the side of caution as a mother - even at Christmas.
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She recently uploaded a video listing the various traditional festive items you won't find in her home, captioning the post: "I have toddlers and these are popular Christmas decor choices we decided not to partake in until the kids are grown."
So, what exactly are these items?
In the video, a voiceover states: "Christmas decor not allowed in my house 'cause I'm a scarred mortician.
"Glass ornaments - break super easy. Metal ornament hooks - choking hazard. Ho ho no.
"Garland of any kind. No popcorn ever."
It continues: "Light up ornaments - they contain button batteries.
"No tea lights allowed - they also contain button batteries. Gumdrops are a choking hazard, along with gumballs.
"Absolutely no loose string lights, or lights with detachable bulbs.
"We don't buy real trees - small pieces end up in small mouths. Also, in case you didn't know, they are highly flammable.
"Stay Grinchy bee-yotch."
So, just remember guys, don't decorate your house in any way if your kids to stay super safe this Christmas, basically.
It may seem a bit Grinchy, but when they're really small, they won't remember anything anyway so you could save the festivity for when they're a bit older and less likely to eat the Christmas tree.
The video has been viewed more than 100,000 times, and unsurprisingly people were left a little taken aback by how exhaustive her 'ho ho no' list was.
"Can we see your decor? I'm just curious what is left that is safe," one person commented.
"Having cats around for Christmas prepared me for toddlers," another added:
While a third wrote, jokingly (we hope): "It's a miracle that my kids are still alive."